conclusion (and thanks to mandysbitch) I blame The Simpsons. Clearly, they never did an episode that featured If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, and thus they betrayed their sacred purpose as The International School of Cultural Relations

Never heard of it - so yeah, guess The Simpsons really let you down there...

On the plus side, I reckon that without ever having read an Edgar Allen Poe poem I could write a paper on him based solely on knowledge garnered from the Simpsons.