If you ever learn the magic rules of seducing your prof, TEACH ME! But apparently the way to become semi-friends with one is to wait until he goes to another continent where he doesn't speak the native language well and is thus lonely and emotionally vulnerable, email him long abstract questions about a topic of mutual interest to which he will write long abstract replies to because he is lonely and emotionally vulnerable, continue like so until you go from questions like "How does the historically specificity of value compare to the extraction of surplus value as the essence of capitalism?" to "So what's your artistic style?", declare yourself friends and prance about like a fifteen year-old.

I'm just saying.