I clicked on the tartan link, and the first thing I saw? "Ancient".
*cracks up*

Kilts are good :) And Rodney has such nice legs, I bet he'd look good in one. You need proper calves for the stockings, and I think he has them. John, on the other hand? Not so much. *g*

This is good. I like the tension John has between what he wants and what he thinks he ought to want... I'd like to know what Rodney was thinking, though, how much he knows of what is going on there.