John didn’t discover he was a pessimist until he realized that Rodney was an optimist, convinced that since they were now together, everything would be all right. He made allusions to things they would do ten, twenty, forty years from now as he curled into John’s sturdy arms, like the choice to hold on or let go was entirely theirs to make.

John’s own optimism stretches enough to imagine Rodney saying nice things about him when he’s gone; to look ten, twenty, forty years into the future and pretend Rodney will still be able to think of him and smile.