I am very serious. Alas, he was not hot. Tall, gangly, and balding. Works as a chef and is called Aidan (named out of guilt, perhaps?)

Ah, penguins. The new symbol of the gay pride movement. Perhaps I should tell my cousin about them. He had an hour long conversation with me in the bar about how going to American had opened his eyes about gay people, and now he is all about the openness. "Because they're people too! An', an', it's all about the openness, see? Because they can have sex with whoever they want, and I will grow as a person thanks to it!"

Ooookaaay, Dan.