Shafts, trannies, and lube—oh my!

[trinityofone]

Here at the auto enthusiast magazine collective where I work, I like to play a little game called “Car copy or gay porn?” For example, take the following selections:

1. It’s still a good idea to periodically lube any and all moving parts… Lube the jack up with a good penetrating oil, but anything form vegetable oil to moly-based lube works well.

2. The heads are straddled by an Edelbrock Air Gap manifold humping a Holley 830-cfm double-pumper.

3. The install isn't too bad since the output shaft slides into a fixed bore of the Ranger. There's no need to hold the tranny for extended periods of time while you wiggle and persuade the input shaft to clear the clutch disc and pilot bearing.

If you guessed, “they’re all gay porn!”, then as far as I’m concerned, you’re correct!

What I don’t understand is how magazines that, judging from the content, might as well be called Trannies and Lube Enthusiasts Monthly can also contain shit like this:

If you’re one of those fruity guys still wearing sandals on the trail…

However, if you’re too much of a pantywaist to jack up a Hi-Lift’s 4,660-pound capacity…

Sorry girls, it’s not just us. We sent readers to a poll at [website] to get the lowdown. The word is out. We had 58-percent of the U.S. say the Womb Raider is the most girly-wuss Jeep model. However, there were a few states where the majority thought it was manly. Unfortunately for you two Idaho and Colorado are not them. Geez, even limp-wristed California and Massachusetts polled it as a puss-Jeep!

Every time I see blatant sexism or homophobia like this, I ask them to change it, but since I am a no-power copy editor, every time I get shot down. ARGH. Aggressively heterosexual male coworkers, I fail to understand you. You keep this up and I will cease to wear boobalicious tops. DON’T MAKE ME IMPLEMENT A CLEAVAGE EMBARGO.

Comments

[dovil.livejournal.com]

That's just a whole big bag of cringe, right there.

It must really suck to have such a derogatory view of women AND be homophobic. I just hope they like barnyard animals otherwise their Saturday nights are going to be mighty lonely.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Oh, women are okay to use for sex. Just don't put them in any kind of situation where they need the brains for the thinking! Or where they have to be strong and useful and stuff!

...can Teyla come kick their asses now, please?

[dovil.livejournal.com]

I need angrier looking Teyla icons, mine are just failing the grade.

Everytime I read/hear about something like that I just see it as smoke and mirrors for the other person declaring that they're scared of change, people different to them frighten them, and if they could live their lives surrounded by their narrow framework of peers (maybe occassionally ducking out to make use of a handy female orifice) they would be more than happy.

Also: their gentials are tiny.

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

You know, I think there's an ancient Greek play about this very thing.

(Also, I see you a Baba O'Riley and raise you a Magic Bus.)

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

siriaeve even wrote the SGA version (http://siriaeve.unrealwords.com/2007/08/04/the-lysistrata-project-stargate-atlantis-various/) of it!

(I'm not sure that you can do that. This Song Is Over.)

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

::hefs:: Well, then. I'm going Mobile.

[everysecondtues.livejournal.com]

1-3 all sound both like car copy and gay porn. In high school, I used to look at some of my dad's car magazines for that very reason and laugh and laugh, and he never got why.

As for the others . . .uh, wow. Fail. The third one especially.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

I seriously think it would be possible to assemble an entire gay porn story from bits of car copy. Just think, I could be the Doctor Frankenstein of the gay porn/auto enthusiast set.

Too bad about the major fail. They...they need my gay porn to redeem them, maybe?

[siria]

:O NOT THE CLEAVAGE EMBARGO.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

FEAR IT!

As we discussed earlier, I believe it looks something like this (http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2008/05/the-fuggie.html).

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

Car copy or gay porn?

*dies laughing*

omg, thank you so much for this; I totally needed the laugh.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Whenever I come across a particularly loving description of lubing up camshafts, I feel that my day becomes brighter as well. It's only right to share!

[delurker.livejournal.com]

2. The heads are straddled by an Edelbrock Air Gap manifold humping a Holley 830-cfm double-pumper.
They actually used the word "humping". That's awesome.

Every time I see blatant sexism or homophobia like this, I ask them to change it, but since I am a no-power copy editor, every time I get shot down.
:(