(no subject)

[trinityofone]

Myself and more than twenty others were laid off from my company yesterday with no warning. We were called into meetings in groups of about five at a time, chatted up by the human resources ladies, and then abruptly let go. We were then escorted from the building.

This is a handout that was in our "bye bye!" packets. Don't you just love that exclamation mark? So cheery!

I'm still sort of numb and in shock. I can't believe I didn't get up and go to work today. I hate the idea that I have to start the long, annoying process of looking for work again. I actually liked my job. I was good at my job. But with the economy the way it is, my (former) company was forced to eliminate my job.

Thank you, George W. Bush, for this unique opportunity to be unemployed.

Comments

[drlense.livejournal.com]

Jesus, that sucks. :(

I hope you find something without too much hassle.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm just like, "I have to write cover letters? AGAIN? Fuck."

[amberlynne.livejournal.com]

Jesus. Just when you think life can't get *more* like a Dilbert cartoon. I am honestly boggled by the horrible ridiculousness of your experience. Take a class! Believe in yourself! Good god. Someone actually thought that was a good idea to put in writing and hand to other human beings. My sympathies to you for both being laid off and having that pile of crap shoved in your face!

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

My apologies to anyone on my flist who may be employed in this field, but I think it's true: people who work in Human Resources are the devil.

Just ask Michael about Toby.

[sonofzeal.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the club. Hey, at least you got a pamphlet!

Good luck in finding a new (and better) job!

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

You can totally share my pamphlet.

Lucky us, right?

[trobadora]

Wow, that's quite possibly the most offensive thing they could have given you.

*hugs*

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Doesn't it look like a parody handout from some parallel parody universe?

*sigh*

[karma-aster.livejournal.com]

God, I'm sorry, honey. That was...amazingly tactless.

[ebrooklynw.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry!!! That totally bites.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Bites and sucks. It's a twofer!

[cesperanza.livejournal.com]

Aw, crap! I share your disgust but am sure you are going to a far, far better place!

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Haha, that makes it sound like I died. But at least I went to heaven!

This reminds me of two jobs ago. Whenever Bossman fired anyone (which was frequently), he wouldn't tell the rest of the employees. He'd wait for one of us to ask, "Hey, where's Sue?" And then he'd intone, "Sue...[long dramatic pause]...is no longer with us." I was always surprised he didn't start saying, "Sue...has been sent to live on a nice farm in the country..."

[siria]

*jaw drops* They seriously gave you that? You know what would make me feel better about you getting laid off? If I could get to punch the head of your company in the mouth :|

[wychwood]

ME TOO.

Seriously, this looks like something off The Office or one of those shows. *Actual people* give these things out? FAIL.

[sol-se.livejournal.com]

Oh fuck! I'm so sorry! Did they at least give you severance pay? I agree, that flyer is about the most offensive, tacky thing.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Nope, no severance pay—unless you count them paying us for today, even though we are not working.

Tacky, indeed.

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

oh, man, that's how I got laid off from my first job on a magazine. (However, they did not give me the Stepford Employees Handout. wtf, are they for real?) I'm sorry, that sucks!

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

That's a great name for it. The little drawing does remind one of the docile people always depicted fleeing from burning airplanes on safety cards...

[mirabile-dictu.livejournal.com]

Oh, shit, I am so sorry. That's -- well, shocking. And distressing. And what a creepy way to be told. That handout is surreal.

[lallybroch.livejournal.com]

Dude, that sucks SO MUCH. Also, the exclamation point on the pamphlet is the jerkiest thing ever.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

I kind of feel like submitting it to FailBlog.

[anatsuno.livejournal.com]

man, yeah, that pamphlet TOTALLY looks like something from a creepy alt.universe. I cannot believe it. *boggles*

I'm sorry about the horror of finding a new job! (and the kick in the gut of the day). I really hope what you find will be better and make you more happy!

[frogspace.livejournal.com]

Just when you think you've seen it all...

Handing out pamphlets is even more tactless than what happened to a friend of mine. There was an unexpected town hall meeting at her company for half the staff and the HR person brought in two boxes with rubber duckies. He told them they were these rubber duckies. And as rubber duckies they were swimming in the sea but suddenly a shark came and ate half of them. In the first box were the duckies that got away and in the second box were the duckies that got eaten by the shark. He was sad to inform them that they (everyone in the meeting) were in the second box.

*hugs*

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, that's one of the worst things I've ever heard. That guy should be taken out and shot. Seriously.

[lillian13.livejournal.com]

Good God, that could have been handled better. By, say, Cthulhu.

*looks at handout*

Oh, Cigna. My niece (who works for her doctor dad calling in insurance claims) says that Cigna is the Devil. After seeing this, I believe her.

Damn, kid. Good luck with the search. Normally, I'd say, "Hey, come on out to Austin, we'll find you something!", but not these days...

[trollsttroll.livejournal.com]

Having been in a similiar experience... I wasn't laid off and given a pamplet... but rather preparing for a cross country move with my now ex with plans of brokering freight for my company from home and eventually opening a terminal for them... and on my last day... I was given a letter that the company was ceasing operation... so not only was I out of a job and moving 2500 miles... but everyone else lost their job as well. If management knew this was gonna go down they should have never led me on.

But enough about me... I hate the new job process. I stay at jobs I hate forever simply because I don't want to look for another one. Cover letters suck hard core... if I had to read them my Bullshit Detector would go off like constantly on some that I've seen.

And your pamplet is made of stuff that should not even exist... like they really believe all that bullshit will help someone cope. It's like telling someone to see the bright side of a pointless death. I saw it and basically saw a big ole FUCK YOU. Ya know?

*hugs*

[deema.livejournal.com]

Time to Partaaaaay! :)
The world will end in roughly 30 days - so get your unemployment checks and do all the things you've got to do before the implosion. Lucky you. :) I have to await the end of all that is not ended yet while locked up in an office. :)

http://gizmodo.com/tag/large-hadron-collider/

[randomeliza.livejournal.com]

UGH. *hugs you* I'm sorry, honey. That really sucks.

[mystisblom.livejournal.com]

Holy shit!

I'm so sorry and I hope you'll soon find another and even better job.

[anashi.livejournal.com]

Omg, are they serious with that shit? I know it's awful but that picture of the stern yet caring mentor/bosslady is making me laugh uncontrollably. I love how they assume your going to turn into a cracked out, non-sleeping zombie after you've been laid off. That's niiiiiiiice. These people are either sadists or they don't have a clue.

[(Anonymous)]

But McCain wants you to know that more of the same is so much better for you than anything the Obama campaign can come up with.

[cereta.livejournal.com]

The may be the lamest thing I've ever seen. And I've seen some pretty lame things.

I'm so sorry!

[darcydodo]

Is that even LEGAL?!?!?! Ugh. I'm so very sorry. :(

[roaringmice.livejournal.com]

Yup.

[mardia.livejournal.com]

Did...did they just seriously slap down the five stages of grief and apply them to losing a job?

I swear to God, when I first saw that, I thought it was a gag screenshot you'd snagged off the Internet. Now only is it sadly all too real, it's apparently chock full of plagerism.

[soupytwist.livejournal.com]

I entirely assumed that was a parody pamphlet, until I read the rest of your post.

Goddamn. I'm sorry; life here in Jobsearchville fucking sucks. I hope you don't stay for long.