Help me not get fired, part II

[trinityofone]

Things have been insane at work. We're closing the issue, so I've been putting in 12-hour-plus days editing the "boards," which last night got sent out to be returned to us as proofs, and then the craziness will resume. In the tiny, two-day lull, I'm supposed to start working on something for the next issue, and I could really use your help. We do an annual "Most" list, and I need to come up with suggestions. Here are some of the ones I've already come up with, to give you an idea:

MOST OMGWTFPOLARBEAR ENGAGEMENT: Dominic Monaghan & Evangeline Lilly
MOST LIKELY TO BE THE NEXT TO CLAIM WE’RE INTEROGATING THE TEXT FROM THE WRONG PERSPECTIVE: M. Night Shyamalan
MOST LIKELY TO BREAK THE GEORGIA RULE: Lindsay Lohan
MOST AWESOME TITLE IN THE HISTORY OF EVERYTHING, EVER: Snakes on a Plane
MOST LIKELY TO CONFUSE A BELT AND A BRA: Keira Knightley
MOST IN NEED OF SUPER-SIZING: Kate Bosworth
MOST INVISIBLE BABY: Suri Cruise

Now, most of these are, I fear, too obscure and too geeky. I also haven't thought of enough of them. I'm just...out of the loop, not the pop culture junkie I used to be (or not of enough mainstream culture, anyway). So, it would be doing me an enormous favor if you wanted to suggest some things for our "Most" list. And, in theory, I think it would be kind of fun, if you're not worried about getting fired over it.

(I am worried. I've worked here six weeks, and my boss has never once told me "good job," or even smiled at me. I don't know if this is just the kind of guy he is (he seems looser and nicer around other people, although that may just be me being paranoid) or if he really doesn't like me. It's incredibly demoralizing.)

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. And in case you're (quite rightly) wondering: no, you won't get credit for this—except forever in my heart! *g*—but neither will I; the piece is collaborative and runs without a byline. But I will send you a copy of the issue if you want it.

Thank you!

Comments

[ms-maree.livejournal.com]

Well, anything about Paris Hilton is a given even if I think she's incredibly over-rated

But all the tabloids seem to love her.

Umm, otherwise, my bad, I can't help you.

Oh, Lance Bass came out, that probably comes under most 'duh, like everyone didn't know' or something.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've been thinking about the Lance Bass thing, but I can't come up with a clever way to phrase it. It would be especially cool if I could juxtapose it with Oprah's whole "I'm not gay!" thing...

[roaringmice.livejournal.com]

How 'bout:

"Celebrity most likely to come out as gay: Oprah.

Celebrity least likely to come out as gay: Lance Bass.

Oh, wait."

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Hee. I like. Unfortunately, we have to stick to the format of "Most [blank]," "Most [other blank]"--with no asides. It's very annoying.

[sonofzeal.livejournal.com]

MOST LIKELY TO THINK HE'S TELLING US SOMETHING NEW

MOST LIKELY TO CONFIRM OUR SUSPICIONS

MOST LIKELY TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMNT WITH TO NO EFFECT OF HIS CAREER

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Heh. Awesome, yes. Thank you.

Except now I have to choose my favorite! *g*

[randomeliza.livejournal.com]

Hee. I liked "MOST LIKELY TO THINK HE'S TELLING US SOMETHING NEW" - but I'd phrase it "MOST LIKELY TO THINK HE'S TELLING US SOMETHING WE DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW."

Oh, Lance. *pinches your cheek* You're so cute. And yes, I mean that patronisingly.

[klo-the-hobbit.livejournal.com]

Most Redundant Coming Out Announcment?