Help me not get fired, part II

[trinityofone]

Things have been insane at work. We're closing the issue, so I've been putting in 12-hour-plus days editing the "boards," which last night got sent out to be returned to us as proofs, and then the craziness will resume. In the tiny, two-day lull, I'm supposed to start working on something for the next issue, and I could really use your help. We do an annual "Most" list, and I need to come up with suggestions. Here are some of the ones I've already come up with, to give you an idea:

MOST OMGWTFPOLARBEAR ENGAGEMENT: Dominic Monaghan & Evangeline Lilly
MOST LIKELY TO BE THE NEXT TO CLAIM WE’RE INTEROGATING THE TEXT FROM THE WRONG PERSPECTIVE: M. Night Shyamalan
MOST LIKELY TO BREAK THE GEORGIA RULE: Lindsay Lohan
MOST AWESOME TITLE IN THE HISTORY OF EVERYTHING, EVER: Snakes on a Plane
MOST LIKELY TO CONFUSE A BELT AND A BRA: Keira Knightley
MOST IN NEED OF SUPER-SIZING: Kate Bosworth
MOST INVISIBLE BABY: Suri Cruise

Now, most of these are, I fear, too obscure and too geeky. I also haven't thought of enough of them. I'm just...out of the loop, not the pop culture junkie I used to be (or not of enough mainstream culture, anyway). So, it would be doing me an enormous favor if you wanted to suggest some things for our "Most" list. And, in theory, I think it would be kind of fun, if you're not worried about getting fired over it.

(I am worried. I've worked here six weeks, and my boss has never once told me "good job," or even smiled at me. I don't know if this is just the kind of guy he is (he seems looser and nicer around other people, although that may just be me being paranoid) or if he really doesn't like me. It's incredibly demoralizing.)

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. And in case you're (quite rightly) wondering: no, you won't get credit for this—except forever in my heart! *g*—but neither will I; the piece is collaborative and runs without a byline. But I will send you a copy of the issue if you want it.

Thank you!

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Well, I think no list is complete without MOST FREQUENTLY IN JAIL: Pete Doherty.

[ms-maree.livejournal.com]

Well, anything about Paris Hilton is a given even if I think she's incredibly over-rated

But all the tabloids seem to love her.

Umm, otherwise, my bad, I can't help you.

Oh, Lance Bass came out, that probably comes under most 'duh, like everyone didn't know' or something.

[boochicken.livejournal.com]

Sibling most obviously trying to become more famous sibling: Ashlee Simpson (although it could also be Haylie Duff or one of the Macaulkins.)

Best commercial use of an ugly divorce: Nick Lachey

Most bafflingly-named celebrity memoir: Teri Hatcher

Most gratuitous use of boobs in album cover art: Ashlee Simpson
Most unlikely to be invited to a Hollywood seder, bat mitzvah or bris: Mel Gibson

Most intimidating modern German: Heidi Klum ("And one of you will be out.")

Celebrity child most likely to appear on "Springer:" Anna Nicole Smith's unnamed spawn.

Wow, I'm having too much fun with this -- need more?

[roaringmice.livejournal.com]

Possible questions:

Couple most likely to still be together in ten years: Jen and Vince?

Couple most likely not to even make it to next week:

Best red-carpet outfit:
Worst red-carpet outfit:

Most shocking arrest: Mel Gibson?

Least shocking arrest:

Celebrity who's done the most for charity: Bono (or Angelina Jolie, depending on who the mag is pimping that month)

Celebrity who should have done the most for charity: Paris Hilton

As for the answers - I pretty much have no idea. I'm mostly clueless when it comes to trendy celebs.

[kalpurna.livejournal.com]

Hee, SOMEONE has been reading her GFY! ;D

I think the omgwtfpolarbear is a little too fandom-insider, but I love the M. Night Shyamalan – although maybe you could take out the "be the next to", and then it doesn't require previous knowledge to get the whole joke. I am ALWAYS in favor of Suri Cruise jokes, too.

How about Least Likely to Date: Oprah Winfrey and Lance Bass?

[vonknibble.livejournal.com]

I am absolutely useless when it comes to pop culture, but one or two things have occured to me...

1) This thing with your boss - is this actual concern as in if you could talk to a work colleague about it would you?, or new job/early days nerves still? From what you've said about him, he might be receptive to a little reassurance if you opted, once this latest madness has settled, to ask for a little chat. Otherwise this will bug you for a long time yet to come and that's never good.

2) You're not the only one that's got to come up with idea's for this thing, so think about it this way - you're idea's may seem too geeky to you, but they're ones that others aren't likely to come up with - so throw in a few mainline ones to show you're not being deliberately difficult, and use your strengths! Geeky can be good :D

[kudra2324.livejournal.com]

i can't get the phrasing into the right format, but about POTC2 - movie most enjoyed regardless of whether it has a plot.

[turtlespeaks.livejournal.com]

Man, I wish I could help you, but I live in a bigger hole then you do. The only things I could think of are
MOST IN NEED OF OF A MUFFIN: Paris Hilton
MOST LIKELY TO BECOME A HOLLYWOOD PARIAH: Mel Gibson (or something similar, but you should totally make a jab at him.)
MOST LIKELY TO SUCK DUE TO BAD NETWORK HANDLING: Veronica Mars (a companion piece to GILMORE GIRLS?! Whiskey Tango Foxtrot CW?!)
MOST LIKELY TO BE THE BIGGEST MOVIE OF NEXT YEAR, REGARDLESS OF WHAT ANYONE SAYS: POTC3

Good luck though, I hope it all works out for you. And maybe you're boss just is like that, you're the new girl, things might be hard for a while until you really make a spot for yourself .

*HUGGLES* GOOD LUCK!! *cake*

We must have the same boss: Mr. Killjoy

[maribouquet.livejournal.com]

Oh man, there needs to be one (or a thousand) about Mel Gibson.

When does the magazine hit the stands? I bet you've already thought of this, but you could look at what movies are opening around then and use them for ideas...

Grim bosses are the worst. Mine is just like that, with the added feature of being doctor who employs the Socratic method - every time I meet with him I get a stern series of rapid-fire, impossible questions, and I leave feeling like I lose at life.

Most likely to give me a complex: my boss. Boo.

[siria]

I am even worse at pop culture than you, and a lot of what I do know is rather restricted to Ireland, so I doubt it would be much good to you. (Unless you want to do a kind of SG:A edition, in which case "Most Likely Wraith Disguised As Newscaster: Anne Doyle". *eyes evening news*)

I'm sorry your boss is being a prick. I would gladly yell at him for you. I can curse with some degree of fluency in four languages, and passibly in a couple of others? *hugs*

[randomeliza.livejournal.com]

Ooh, fun! I'll play.

MOST LIKELY TO GIVE A GIRL AN STD JUST BY LOOKING AT HER: Brandon Davis

MOST LIKELY TO USE PRODUCT PLACEMENT IN HER OWN FUNERAL: Starr Jones

MOST LIKELY TO CRASH WIKIPEDIA: Stephen Colbert (did you hear about this, btw? Stephen Colbert is made of awesome.)

Hmm. These are hard. I'll think about it some more... But the first one was the one that immediately popped into my head. Cause seriously - boy is GROSS.

[lordelessar.livejournal.com]

What happened to Help Me Not Get Fired part 1?

umm... I suck at these kinds of things. How about, Most likely to make more money in his next movie that you do in a lifetime: Johnny Depp. Doesn't seem that good. But it seems like you should find some category for Depp, given the huge financial success of Pirates. Maybe it could be, Most likely to have random people say "Arrrr, Matey" at him on the street.

[sonofzeal.livejournal.com]

Most ironic talent show judge: David Hasselhoff, America has Talent

Most likely to kill Harry Potter: J. K. Rowling

Most likely to be better looking than any of us: [I forget the name, but Brad Pitt and and Angelina Jolie had a kid. Come on, that's just not fair to anyone]

[introductory.livejournal.com]

Oh, I must not be paying enough attention. What again do you write for? I'll definitely be getting a copy once it comes out. :x

[whiskeypants.livejournal.com]

MOST LIKELY TO BE HOSPITALIZED FOR FERRET BITES: Paris Hilton

MOST LIKELY TO BE TOLD TO STEP THE HELL OFF BY JK ROWLING AND ROB THOMAS: Stephen King

MOST LIKELY TO OFFEND EVERYBODY: Mel Gibson

MOST WTF IS IT NOW: Angelina Jolie