Help me not get fired, part II
Aug. 3rd, 2006 09:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trinityofoneThings have been insane at work. We're closing the issue, so I've been putting in 12-hour-plus days editing the "boards," which last night got sent out to be returned to us as proofs, and then the craziness will resume. In the tiny, two-day lull, I'm supposed to start working on something for the next issue, and I could really use your help. We do an annual "Most" list, and I need to come up with suggestions. Here are some of the ones I've already come up with, to give you an idea:
MOST OMGWTFPOLARBEAR ENGAGEMENT: Dominic Monaghan & Evangeline Lilly
MOST LIKELY TO BE THE NEXT TO CLAIM WE’RE INTEROGATING THE TEXT FROM THE WRONG PERSPECTIVE: M. Night Shyamalan
MOST LIKELY TO BREAK THE GEORGIA RULE: Lindsay Lohan
MOST AWESOME TITLE IN THE HISTORY OF EVERYTHING, EVER: Snakes on a Plane
MOST LIKELY TO CONFUSE A BELT AND A BRA: Keira Knightley
MOST IN NEED OF SUPER-SIZING: Kate Bosworth
MOST INVISIBLE BABY: Suri Cruise
Now, most of these are, I fear, too obscure and too geeky. I also haven't thought of enough of them. I'm just...out of the loop, not the pop culture junkie I used to be (or not of enough mainstream culture, anyway). So, it would be doing me an enormous favor if you wanted to suggest some things for our "Most" list. And, in theory, I think it would be kind of fun, if you're not worried about getting fired over it.
(I am worried. I've worked here six weeks, and my boss has never once told me "good job," or even smiled at me. I don't know if this is just the kind of guy he is (he seems looser and nicer around other people, although that may just be me being paranoid) or if he really doesn't like me. It's incredibly demoralizing.)
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. And in case you're (quite rightly) wondering: no, you won't get credit for this—except forever in my heart! *g*—but neither will I; the piece is collaborative and runs without a byline. But I will send you a copy of the issue if you want it.
Thank you!
MOST OMGWTFPOLARBEAR ENGAGEMENT: Dominic Monaghan & Evangeline Lilly
MOST LIKELY TO BE THE NEXT TO CLAIM WE’RE INTEROGATING THE TEXT FROM THE WRONG PERSPECTIVE: M. Night Shyamalan
MOST LIKELY TO BREAK THE GEORGIA RULE: Lindsay Lohan
MOST AWESOME TITLE IN THE HISTORY OF EVERYTHING, EVER: Snakes on a Plane
MOST LIKELY TO CONFUSE A BELT AND A BRA: Keira Knightley
MOST IN NEED OF SUPER-SIZING: Kate Bosworth
MOST INVISIBLE BABY: Suri Cruise
Now, most of these are, I fear, too obscure and too geeky. I also haven't thought of enough of them. I'm just...out of the loop, not the pop culture junkie I used to be (or not of enough mainstream culture, anyway). So, it would be doing me an enormous favor if you wanted to suggest some things for our "Most" list. And, in theory, I think it would be kind of fun, if you're not worried about getting fired over it.
(I am worried. I've worked here six weeks, and my boss has never once told me "good job," or even smiled at me. I don't know if this is just the kind of guy he is (he seems looser and nicer around other people, although that may just be me being paranoid) or if he really doesn't like me. It's incredibly demoralizing.)
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. And in case you're (quite rightly) wondering: no, you won't get credit for this—except forever in my heart! *g*—but neither will I; the piece is collaborative and runs without a byline. But I will send you a copy of the issue if you want it.
Thank you!
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-03 05:04 pm (UTC)Best commercial use of an ugly divorce: Nick Lachey
Most bafflingly-named celebrity memoir: Teri Hatcher
Most gratuitous use of boobs in album cover art: Ashlee Simpson
Most unlikely to be invited to a Hollywood seder, bat mitzvah or bris: Mel Gibson
Most intimidating modern German: Heidi Klum ("And one of you will be out.")
Celebrity child most likely to appear on "Springer:" Anna Nicole Smith's unnamed spawn.
Wow, I'm having too much fun with this -- need more?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-03 05:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-03 05:30 pm (UTC)Most oddly dressed person with her own line of clothes: Mila Jovovich, or however you spell it.
Most non-comeback comeback: Sharon Stone
Most comeback-comeback: Kate Moss
Most ironic 64th birthday: Paul McCartney
Most overexposed abdominal muscles: Janet Jackson
Most unlikely to be invited to a albinism support group: Paul Bettany
Most grateful that Lindsay is now getting into trouble: Tara Reid
More?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-03 05:40 pm (UTC)Yes, more, thank you! As long as you are enjoying yourself, you are making me very happy and relieved.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-03 06:25 pm (UTC)Most likely to divorce within the month: Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock
Divorce most likely to be documented on stolen home video: Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock's
Most convincing proof of immortality: Keith Richards
Most tired of "let them eat cake" jokes: Kirsten Dunst
Celebrity baby most likely to hate the "Superman" franchise: Kal-El Cage
Celebrity baby most likely to hate saris, soirees, and Slurpees: Suri Cruise
I'm sure I've got more -- and dear G-d, what was up with Paula's sternum? It looked like she had an unfortunate encounter with an ice-cream scoop.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-03 06:48 pm (UTC)You are awesome to come up with all of these.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-03 06:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-03 07:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-03 07:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 02:46 am (UTC)Most likely to appear on the side of a milk carton: Natasha Lyonne
Most likely to be mistaken for a Bobblehead: Olsen twins (either)
Most unlikely to take her Mom to brunch next Mother's Day: Tori Spelling
Most successful couple, least pronouncable names: Peter Sarsgaard & Maggie Gyllenhaal
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-04 04:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-05 10:57 pm (UTC)