Winky the milk spitting tunnel ferret?

[trinityofone]

Recently linked to on my flist: Woody's World of Penis Euphemisms. It's very...special.

Anyway, I think we should have a contest. Whoever can use the most of these in a fic--with bonus points if the fic isn't utter crack, and if the euphemisms aren't just being listed (although a little of that would be okay by me *g*)--wins. At like, everything. Ever.

Go! Willy the one-eyed wonder worm, Herman von Longschlongstein, Buster McThunderstick--not to mention Prince Everhard of the Netherlands (royalty, no less!)--command you!

ETA: aurora_84 has pointed out that the fannish hivemind strikes again! *boggles*

I'm not, like...obligated to sign up for that now, am I?

Comments

[siria]

... you're going to get me kicked out of the library for inappropriate choking.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

That was, of course, my evil plan all along.

[siria]

I'll never be able to keep up with your diabolical, infernal schemes!

Just try not to get me permanently banned, because no place for writing would drive me crazy.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

It would also make me very sad! Okay then. *puts away tinfoil mustache*

[siria]

*bemused look a la Shep* Tinfoil moustache? Should I ask? Do I want to know? Should I have fear?

*returns to fic dissertation*

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

*blinks* You mean you don't have "Curses, foiled again!" over here?

I can't pay the rent, I can't pay the rent...

[siria]

Uh. Is Jeopardy dangerous?

Translation from the geek: I plead ignorance

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Okay, it's like this...this thing. (Official cultural category: miscellaneous.) See, you get a piece of tinfoil, and you twist it a little in the middle, so depending on where you hold it, it looks either like a hair bow, a mustache, or a bow tie. And then, moving it around, you do a series of voices...

HAIR BOW: I can't pay the rent! I can't pay the rent!
MUSTACHE: You must pay the rent! You must pay the rent!
HAIR BOW: I can't pay the rent! I can't pay the rent!
MUSTACHE: You must pay the rent! You must pay the rent!
BOW TIE: I'll pay the rent!
HAIR BOW: My hero!
MUSTACHE: Curses! Foiled again!

And it's funny! No, really!

Anyway, I'd love to see John & Rodney try to explain that one to Ronon! Or "You remind me of a man." Aww, geeze. Do you know "You remind me of a man"?

[siria]

*Teyla face* And you do this for fun, in your culture?

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

"You remind me of a man." "What man?" "The man with the power." "What power?" "The power of voodoo." "Who do?" "You do." "Do what?" "Remind me of a man."

[siria]

*blinks* Remind me again why I should want to voluntarily enter the US?

Also, I've just spotted what you've changed your LJ name to. *cries laughing*

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Um, because we're awesome and we make up cracked verbal games for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON AT ALL?

Ooh! Ooh! Do you know "Miss Lucy"?

I've just spotted what you've changed your LJ name to. *cries laughing*

*beams*

[siria]

Awesome like the Hewlett's ass, clearly.

... I know someone called Lucy, but I don't think that's what you mean.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Miss Lucy had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell, Miss Lucy went to heaven, the steamboat went to hell--

o operator, please give me number 9, and if you disconnect me, I'll kick you in the be--

hind the refrigerator, there was a piece of glass, Miss Lucy slipped upon it, and fell right on her as--

sk me no more questions, tell me no more lies, the boys are in the bathroom, zipping up their fl--

ies are in the meadow, bees are in the park, Miss Lucy and her boyfriend, are kissing in the DARK! DARK! WHAT A LARK!

Uh, yeah. Run.

[siria]

Oh, we have something similar here. It was a skipping game.

*nostalgic* Oh, for the days when I could manage a double skipping rope with ease.

clearly, my playground subculture was more advanced than yours.

[alie]

Mine went like that up to:

ies are in the meadow, bees are in the park, Miss Lucy and her boyfriend, are kissing in the D-A-R-K DA

RK is like a movie, a movie's like a show, a show is like a TV set and that is all I kn

ow I know my maaaaw, I know I know my pa, I know I know my sister and her forty acre bra!