Stuff hanging around forever at non-regulation angles

[trinityofone]

God. I didn't sleep at all last night, and I'm practically comatose, just waiting for the work day to end so that I can go to chele74's house and make yummy food with her and her friend Liz and drink the weird bottle of tequila I found in my office. Yes: found in my office. Before the other Associate Editor and I were hired, this place had such high turnaround that our offices are like little shrines to the people who have worked here before. I've also found: someone's scarf, a bottle of "luxury" laundry detergent, a fake ambulance light, and some fancy footcare products that I think I am likewise going to liberate and give to Liz. Every day I come here I can dig into a different corner and find something new. It's like Atlantis, in a way.

Anyway, I'm glad that I can go to chele74's for a while tonight because I need to avoid my Absent Roommate, who unfortunately last night made herself not-so-absent. I hate it when she comes home. She's such a passive-aggressive neat freak. I left one mug in the sink—one mug—so of course she had to make a big production out of finding it and scrubbing it out with like half a bottle of soap. Riiiight. Because someone would have died if we'd left it there over night. Not to mention that if I leave a book in the living room, she'll freak out. Last time she was home, I left a book on the coffee table—y'know, just kind of tossed down there in the middle maybe, because I'd been reading it while I was eating breakfast—and when I got home, she'd moved it so that the corners were perfectly aligned with the corners of the coffee table. Because angles other than 90 degree ones are tools of the devil. Okay!

I hope she leaves again soon. Or at least that Cool Roommate comes home from her boyfriend's, because then we can roll our eyes at AR together.

Anyway, speaking of...stuff hanging around forever at non-regulation angles, here's what's in my messenger bag. (Yes, I carry a messenger bag, not a purse. Thus when I showed up at a recent work event carrying a handbag and wearing a pretty dress (thanks again, chele74!), I caused a coworker to exclaim, "You're not carrying your knapsack! [Note: it is not a knapsack.] You clean up nice!" Wow, thanks. How shitty do you think I look the rest of the time?)

Whoa. I must be feeling cranky today as well as tired. Anyway, here are the scary contents of my bag:

-sunglasses
-glasses case
-cell phone
-wallet (which I've also been told is a man wallet. Apparently, I fail at life)
-checkbook
-keys, including Buffy wooden stake keychain and PotC cursed Aztec gold keychain
-tin of wintergreen Altoids
-two CDs containing the first six episodes of S3 of The Office, which I am burning for my mom, who has a huge crush on John Krasinski
-copy of Sure of You by Armistead Maupin
-empty Ralphs bag which had contained the packages I mailed earlier today
-miscellaneous receipts from stores such as Staples, the Pacific Design Center Café, the Post Office, Cafe Dahab on Sawtelle, Kabuki Japanese Restaurant in Hollywood, and Oomasa Japanese Restaurant in Westwood. I am now throwing these out.
-an invite and a map to my dad's documentary fundraising party. Trashing that, too.
-my A Dog's Breakfast invite. Saving that!
-expired medical insurance card
-business card of Brian Perry, hair stylist, which was given to me when I was covering the Hollywood Style Awards. I am sorry, Mr. Perry, but we are never covering you.
-snack size Mr. Goodbar, left over from Halloween. I think I'll eat that.
-Cadbury Dairy Milk Bubbly given to me by siriaeve
-change purse given to me by nenar
-San Francisco Muni ticket from last September. That must have been from when I went to the Haight with psychopepsquad. Weird.
-value size bottle of Midol
-a red thumbtack
-five packets of salt from In-N-Out. Ew.
-a Band-Aid
-the business card of one of my parents' friends
-two Ghirardelli dark chocolate squares that I got at the James Cromwell play I went to Saturday night
-an unused (I think) microcassette tape
-two "it's your TANG do what you wanna do" postcards from UC Berkeley's health services center (the TANG Center) which psychopepsquad and I thought were hilarious
-a slightly rusty Killers Hot Fuss button
-a 01.20.09 Bush's Last Day button that I forgot I had and should really wear because it's awesome
-a fortune cookie fortune that says "You have potential urge and the ability for accomplishment" (whatever that means) as well as the lotto numbers 2 3 9 10 30 10
-about two-thirds of a roll of quarters
-the blue cloth I use to polish my glasses
-and a bright pink hair elastic

Fear me.