Irony + meme + Torchwood recs?

So you know how when you really like and admire a fictional character, you sometimes—consciously or not—take on some of their characteristics? Years of Spike-love had me saying "bloody" a lot and attempting to convince myself that I liked Weetabix. (Um, not so much—perhaps it's the blood that makes it?) Within a few months of getting really into SGA, I found myself unconsciously mimicking some of Rodney's hand gestures. Okay! I can live with that. BUT THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR.

As you may know—and I've certainly been bitching about it enough for rocks on Pluto to be aware of it—I've been having to have a lot of dental work recently. My mouth is a mess—cavities, nastiness. At yesterday's appointment the dentist and I finally got around to discussing some of the possible causes for this (other than the "I didn't go to the dentist for six years because I had no insurance" one). I said, "I brush three times a day, I never drink soda—what did I do wrong?" He listed a few other possible causes before finally getting around to, "Do you eat a lot of citrus?"

Um. Why yes, I do. I eat an orange every morning without fail and love citrus-y things: orange or lemon chicken, lemonade, lemon iced tea, lemon candy...I am a CITRUS ADDICT.

And apparently, my teeth have a citrus intolerance.

Oh HA FUCKING HA.

I mean, it's not like it's fatal or anything, but I am supposed to stop eating it. Well, let me just say: I expect some Rodney McKay-like perks to go with this! An IQ spike? Okay! A suddenly luscious-looking ass? Bring it! A hot Air Force Lt. Colonel delivered to my door? Thank you, kindly!

*pouts*

Anyway, while I continue to sulk, y'all can distract me with these two things:

The 'Tell Me What to Create' AnonyMeme! that everyone and their uncle is doing!

And...Torchwood recs? Jack/Ten, please please please? Post-'End of Days' maybe? I feel like there has to be some...

In the mean time, I'll be over here NOT EATING LEMON. Grr.