Ditto. I was also going to comment on the line-breaks, which seem haphazard at best. And you need to decide whether you want long lines or short, don't just randomly choose long-short-short-long-long because you like the way it looks or because you can't decide. The first stanza, for example, might work better as follows:
They used to hand them out— squares of white paper, thick like cardboard, row after row of smiling faces: your class photo— first grade, second grade, third grade, fourth.
Or if you wanted longer lines, then join the second and third, for example.
I'm not doing a good job of explaining it, either.
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Date: 2005-04-05 12:15 am (UTC)They used to hand them out—
squares of white paper,
thick like cardboard,
row after row of smiling faces:
your class photo—
first grade, second grade,
third grade, fourth.
Or if you wanted longer lines, then join the second and third, for example.
I'm not doing a good job of explaining it, either.