trinityofone: (Default)
[personal profile] trinityofone
Thanks to everyone who sent good thoughts. I’m still having my mini-‘Conversion’ moment, except I seem to be turning into a big pink bug instead of a blue one (is this ‘cause I’m a girl? That’s sexist!). Also, I have papers that I’m totally ignoring! But [livejournal.com profile] yin_again said that if I wrote Julian/Emmett, she’d write McKay/Sheppard/Lorne/Parrish, so! I have priorities, you know. *g*

This is pretty crackish. And I can’t believe I’ve written Boa vs. Python fic now. *facepalm*

Title: Done and Done
Fandom: First Monday/Boa vs. Python
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Julian/Emmett
Length: ~1550 words
Summary: In horror and disaster movies, there was always some uptight, pretentious guy who nobody liked, who died in a humiliating manner while everyone in the audience cheered.
A/N: This is for [livejournal.com profile] yin_again, as a bribe to get her to write me...well, orgy!fic. I love fandom.

Done and Done

Julian had seen enough horror and disasters movies, little snippets caught flipping between C-SPAN and FOXNews, to know that there was always some guy, some uptight, pretentious guy who nobody liked who died in a ridiculous, humiliating manner while everyone in the audience snickered and cheered. They were often lawyers, like the one in Jurassic Park who abandoned the small, innocent children, hid in a toilet stall, and got munched on by the T-Rex. They were all supposedly smart men who made one stupid decision and got killed for it.

Julian thought those movies were idiotic and puerile, but they weren’t a bad metaphor for life. One mistake, one step out of line, and you were done. Julian knew better.

Yet when the giant snake rocketed out into the middle of a Pennsylvania country road and slammed its body down on the hood of Julian’s car, he did possibly the stupidest thing imaginable. He got out and ran.

As he stumbled down a ditch and broke toward the woods, Julian was dimly aware of the voice screaming in the back of his brain, the one telling him that he was being a moron, that he was done for. He felt his lungs burning and panic beating in his chest, and several bubbles of irrational thought, rising to the surface. Odd color for a snake and I’m going be late for the reunion and Ha, ‘late’ and even: Really doubt they’ll miss me.

It was over extraordinarily quickly. He heard the swish of the snake moving through the grass, and then his feet were swept out from under him and he was looking into a gigantic gaping maw and his whole life was not so much flashing as trudging dully by.

Then there was a shout, and he was flat on his back in the grass, and a man was looming over him, combat boots and cargo pants and tight black t-shirt, wide mouth turned down into a frown. “Are you all right?”

He was not all right. He was so far from all right. His lungs were on fire and his entire body was shaking. He’d gotten mud all over a $2,500 suit.

He’d almost died.

“I almost died,” Julian said. Saying it out loud made it seem realer than the actual near-death-by-snake experience had been. His life had almost ended. Terminated. Over, finis. He’d almost been Julian Lodge, deceased: eaten alive by a snake in Pennsylvania. Before he’d ever done anything.

“Yeah,” said the man. His lips quirked up. “Good thing you led him over to me, hm? Otherwise I don’t think I would have gotten to you in time. Oh,” he added, a moment later, and extended a hand to help Julian up.

Julian accepted. Or he meant to. His hand closed around the other man’s, and Julian found he was suddenly hyper-aware of a score of little details: the stretch of the muscles in his arm; the warmth and strength of the other man’s hand; the little patch of skin, pale along his side, that showed when he bent over, and that tight black shirt rode up.

He had almost died. A few seconds’ difference and he would have shuffled off this mortal coil. Julian had never really thought about death before. Not his own: he had thought himself too good for death. But he wasn’t. He wasn’t above death, or fear, or anything else.

His hand was still clasped against that of the man who had saved him, who had given one half-hearted upward tug and then gone still, staring at him. Julian stared back, taking in all the things he usually took care not to notice. Broad shoulders and strong biceps, intense blue eyes and clever-looking mouth. Firm curve of ass, accentuated by the rear-pockets of the cargo pants. He was leaning forward, stance welcoming; all Julian had to do was pull.

The man landed on top of him with a shocked little huff, not nearly as shocked as Julian was to have done it, to be doing it, to be putting a hand on the back of this stranger’s neck and kissing his wide, clever mouth. It was a brief kiss: all Julian had the courage for. He released the man and sat back, waiting for the punch of the kick or whatever it was strapping snake-killers did to skinny little—

Then man was eyeing him curiously. He licked his lips. “Was that just adrenaline or did you really want...?”

For once, Julian had no idea what he wanted. He was lying on the ground next to a dead snake and his pants were muddy and his dick was hard. He wanted a long, long shower, and he wanted to push up his rescuer’s shirt with his nose and lick his stomach.

His fingers jerked.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with adrenaline,” the man said, lowering himself down, putting his stomach in perfect range of Julian’s thumbs if not his mouth. “You’re really hot.”

No one had ever called Julian hot before, at least not to his face. He’d been called handsome a few times and “annoyingly pretty” an awful lot. But hot people were people with greasy chests and tans who wore tight shirts and too-tight trousers. People like the man who was currently kissing him, opening up his mouth, and Julian was opening, greedily sucking on the other man’s tongue—and sure, blame it on adrenaline. The only other explanation he could think of was that he actually had died, and this was heaven (couldn’t be) or hell (didn’t seem like it). All he knew for sure was that living had never felt like this.

It had never felt like strong male fingers sliding underneath the buttons of his suit jacket, opening him like a piece of fruit, peeling the layers back. They were kissing, hips rocking together; Julian threw a leg over the other man’s thigh and pulled him tighter. “I suppose this is one benefit of getting out of my lab and doing government jobs,” the man was saying, and at the word government, Julian went still, but the comment wasn’t really directed at him. Not like the man’s kisses, his stubbled cheek brushing across Julian neck as he undid Julian’s tie and ripped open his shirt collar; Julian would have been surprised to learn that he was baring his throat, offering it up. The other man took it with a gentle sweep of tongue and guided Julian’s hands to the top button of his fly.

“I’m Emmett, by the way,” the man said. “I figured you should know, since you’re going to be touching my dick.”

Julian shuddered. The man was trying to remedy their lack of proper introduction, and the polite thing to do would be to answer with his own name. But he didn’t, Julian didn’t...

“Or not,” the other man—Emmett—said, sensing Julian’s hesitance, drawing back. Julian thought he saw the sense coming back into his eyes, the adrenaline leaving—which really wasn’t fair, since Julian’s vision was still cloudy with it. Mutely, he clutched at Emmett’s shoulders, holding him down. “Ju—Julian,” he stuttered, “I—”

He found Emmett’s fly again, freed his cock. It felt huge in his hand, weighty; it felt good, really good, reacting to his touch. Emmett moaned and Julian moaned, and then his cock was in Emmett’s hand, and their cocks and hands were pressed together, they were moving, Emmett’s body rippling over his. Time had slowed the second the snake had slithered out of the grass, and it still hadn’t snapped back to normal: every motion felt slow and liquid and drawn out. Emmett’s thumb flicking over the head of his cock; and the rolling of their hips; and the suck and sweep of Emmett’s tongue; and Emmett’s shirt riding up, revealing a stretch of stomach that wasn’t bronze and toned, after all, but pale and soft over the clenching muscles, and Julian still wanted to kiss it.

Julian kissed Emmett like each new press of lips, every slide of tongue against tongue, would be the one to kill him. But he lived. He lived.

It was Emmett shuddering, Emmett coming all over their hands and over Julian’s cock and his chest, that made Julian follow him over the edge. His head fell back against the dirt—hard, except that Emmett reached out and cupped the back of his neck. Thanks, he felt like saying—horribly inadequate, considering that the man had saved his life—and brought him off in the middle of a field in Pennsylvania. But he still wasn’t sure that the emotion he felt was gratitude.

That blind, heady feeling was receding—adrenaline leaving his body. He lay back against the grass, Emmett beside him and half on top of him. He felt sleepy and drained and still somewhat shocked: he was alive. There were leaves in his hair and come on his chest and he couldn’t find his tie and he had almost been killed by a giant snake and he’d had sex with a man and he was alive.

No one at the reunion was going to believe him. Maybe he wouldn’t go.




Hmm. I actually really like the idea of DH playing the hero and JF playing the annoying-guy-who-nobody-likes-but-who-is-actually-adorable. I may want to play more with this. Dammit.
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(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-19 11:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sarren.livejournal.com
*bounces*

God that's hot. I really hope you do want to play more!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-20 01:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] merelyn.livejournal.com
Yay! I'm so glad you wrote this, because after your last Julian fic I really felt that the poor thing needed a boyfriend. I really liked this, and you're right, the DH as the hero for a change is a really cool dynamic.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-20 01:10 am (UTC)
ext_1611: Isis statue (geeky)
From: [identity profile] isiscolo.livejournal.com
Oh, GOD. You are not going to make me watch Boa vs. Python, no matter HOW HOT you make Emmett.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-20 12:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityofone.livejournal.com
No, you should really watch it! It's bad, yes, but it's the good bad. So-bad-it's-hysterically-funny. It's actually one of the least painful things I've sat through for either The Hewlett or The Flan, and it has the advantage of Hewlett being really hot and competent with guns and occasionally wet in it.

Also, I have two words for you: buddy breathing. Buddy breathing.

Oh yes yes yes yes yes

From: [identity profile] krysalys.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-05-20 11:17 pm (UTC) - Expand

Re: Oh yes yes yes yes yes

From: [identity profile] isiscolo.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-05-20 11:35 pm (UTC) - Expand

Re: Oh yes yes yes yes yes

From: [identity profile] krysalys.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-05-21 12:37 am (UTC) - Expand

Re: Oh yes yes yes yes yes

From: [identity profile] isiscolo.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-05-21 03:59 am (UTC) - Expand

Re: Oh yes yes yes yes yes

From: [identity profile] krysalys.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-05-21 05:17 am (UTC) - Expand

Re: Oh yes yes yes yes yes

From: [identity profile] trinityofone.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-05-21 07:47 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-20 03:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mneiai.livejournal.com
Amazing--amusing and hot and the reversal of the roles (at least actor-wise) was definitely a wonderful idea. I hope you do try to fiddle with this a bit more, it would be interesting to see what came out of it ^.^

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-20 03:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] klo-the-hobbit.livejournal.com
*can't speak because is too busy dancing in a spastically gleeful way*
YOU WIN AT LIFE. AT LIFE I SAY!
*goes back to the dancing*
*klo*

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-20 04:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ceitie.livejournal.com
Ooooh, more please, pretty please! Heh, I was wondering what could possibly happen to Julian that would be enough to break through his denial and self-loathing. Then I read this and it's like, huh, almost eaten by a giant snake. Hey, yeah, that'd do it.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-20 05:19 am (UTC)
sage: Still of Natasha Romanova from Iron Man 2 (yes)
From: [personal profile] sage
What a wonderful take on them! :D

*loves*

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-20 06:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] delurker.livejournal.com
This is fun! I love Julian;s internal monologue, and the death jokes he makes. Hee.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-20 06:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seikaitsukimizu.livejournal.com
Wonderful, wonderful fic. DH playing the hero, JF as the damsel in distress...we need more of these. *nods* You write thse so eloquently, and the characterizations are so believable...wonderfully done.

You're going to play more in this universe, yes? *grins*

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-20 07:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gardenprophet.livejournal.com
Hmm. I actually really like the idea of DH playing the hero and JF playing the annoying-guy-who-nobody-likes-but-who-is-actually-adorable. I may want to play more with this. Dammit.

Oh my god, you so should. It would be fabulously cracktastic. Plus, I'm madly in love with StrappingHero!David. ::wanders off to watch BvP again::

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-20 07:18 am (UTC)
ext_2456: (BoaTCmanip (laytoncolt))
From: [identity profile] nakedwesley.livejournal.com
I was in love with this before I even read it. It seems funny to think of DH as the big, action hero-type and JF as the timid thing that needs rescuing, but it works so well!

Loved Julian's 'dead parrot sketch' monologue and Emmett's casual ride to the rescue, complete with hot sex.

You didn't even have to twist their proximity much, with Emmett being in PA and Julian based in DC. Poor little self-aware Julian though: knowing what people say about him and that even his own family might not miss him much.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-20 06:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 4amcoffee.livejournal.com
I COMPLETELY blame you and [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve for my sudden dling of JF's First Monday clips, and, subsequently, for these icons.

Image (http://photobucket.com) Image (http://photobucket.com)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-22 07:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityofone.livejournal.com
Oh, damn! Siria just left! I wish she could have seen these (she will tomorrow! *g*) because she would have cackled with glee, just like I did.

Mad Dog is so hard core. And yes, Julian is STRAIGHT. Totally, totally straight. And men he has close feelings for--it's cause they're cousins! Totally cousins! Hee. Thank you so much.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-20 07:10 pm (UTC)
ext_286: (dino atc)
From: [identity profile] general-jinjur.livejournal.com
you have emmet looming! this is wonderful. thank you.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-20 11:05 pm (UTC)
ext_8600: (John - Elf smile)
From: [identity profile] reedfem.livejournal.com
OMG, I think you broke me.

*whimpers*

Date: 2006-05-20 11:12 pm (UTC)
ext_834: (Dangerous David)
From: [identity profile] krysalys.livejournal.com
That was incredibly hot, having ohthankgodI'malive!sex next to a giant dead snake. *snicker*
Oh, and now I have to find First Monday and watch it, damn it.
*headdesk*
You and FCOL are so killing me here! *BG*
Thanks!
----}-@

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-20 11:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loligo.livejournal.com
Oh, god -- you addicted me to Julian Lodge with that first snippet you posted a few days ago. I don't know what the universe is rewarding me for, but THREE MORE Julian stories by various people over three days is some great reward, all right. Whoo!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-21 02:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iibnf.livejournal.com
Ha! I love it, and yes, I particularly liked the turning around of their usual roles. Big, brave, hot, tough Emmett (and I'm sure his surname is Brown which is why he just never uses it, because, seriously) and Julian-in-distress. Totally cool.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-21 08:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mcalex22.livejournal.com
This is a fantastic cross-over. I love the idea of Emmett as the hero and Julian as the well, the not-so-courageous guy who would run away.

I think one of the lines that really stuck in my head was when you described how the pockets of Emmett's cargo pants accentuated his ass. My thoughts exactly when I was watching BVP!

This is just oo much fun to read and I certainly hope you write more. It's a great role reversal story :)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-21 03:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dogeared.livejournal.com
Ohh, I would so read the continuing adventures of Emmett and Julian. :D And Emmett’s shirt riding up, revealing a stretch of stomach that wasn’t bronze and toned, after all, but pale and soft over the clenching muscles, and Julian still wanted to kiss it is utterly endearing.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-21 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] charlidos.livejournal.com
Oooh! This is such a good pairing. Emmett may inhabit a very crappy movie, but he's really sexy and heroic. And Julian may inhabit a slightly less crappy - but still crappy - show, but he's very pretty and repressed. So it all fits! Somehow.

Hmm. Well, this story works perfectly, anyway. I love it muchly. :D

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-22 04:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lallybroch.livejournal.com
Eeeeee, I loved this! I've never seen either of these, *despite* my strange desire to see Boa vs. Python. I'm worried that I'll have to squirm and hide my head and feel embarassed for DH the entire time!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-22 04:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bibliokat.livejournal.com
Eeee, that was awesome! And very very hot;)

Hmm. I actually really like the idea of DH playing the hero and JF playing the annoying-guy-who-nobody-likes-but-who-is-actually-adorable. I may want to play more with this.

I like it too! Plus yay for the maybe more!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-22 01:10 pm (UTC)
ext_979: (dh + jf)
From: [identity profile] saba1789.livejournal.com
Hee, that was great and very hot. Thanks for writing and sharing this :-) .

(no subject)

Date: 2006-05-25 11:53 pm (UTC)
ext_59670: (Default)
From: [identity profile] natroga.livejournal.com
I think I should probably tell you that I hold you entirely responsible for the fact that I finally caved and watched Boa vs. Python.

Thank you.

I haven't laughed this hard in *ages*. God, that movie was bad.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-06-24 03:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lillyjk.livejournal.com
*flails incoherently*

how is it that I haven't read this before?

yes yes and YES!
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