Blah blah blah work help blah

[trinityofone]

I am soooooooo boriiiiiiing.

Anyway, help me out with something for work! We're putting together our Alternative Oscar Ballot. This means I need to think of humorous categories and five entries for each for this year's (past, current, and upcoming) films. Past examples include:

BEST PERFORMANCE BY ONE OR MORE RODENTS
Mr. Jingles in The Green Mile
Stuart Little in Stuart Little
The rats in The Bone Collector
Mickey Mouse in The Hand Behind the Mouse: The Ub Iwerks Story
Sean Penn in Sweet and Lowdown

or

OVERPRAISED '70S DIRECTOR WHO MOST CLEARLY DEMONSTRATED HE'D LOST TOUCH WITH REALITY
Stanley Kubrick for Eyes Wide Shut
Peter Hyams for End of Days
Martin Scorsese for Bringing Out the Dead
Robert Altman for Cookie's Fortune
George Lucas for Star Wars: Episode I—The Phantom Menace

Thank kind of thing. You know, funny and clever. Two things I am (at least currently) not.

So. Any suggestions?

Also: does it bug people that I ask for help with this sort of thing? I've been worried that it might be annoying, but LJ is such a good resource. Still, please tell me if it's annoying. And really, I'll try to post something interesting soon.

ETA: I don't actually need more rodent suggestions—that was just an example. We're actually looking for new categories. Sorry for any confusion!

Comments

[mecurtin.livejournal.com]

We love it! But if I were you, I'd flock it.

[an-kayoh.livejournal.com]

Didn't the Princess Bride have rodents.

And no, I don't mind. (this is from the person who routinely kicks her flist to make it produce anything, including memes)

[an-kayoh.livejournal.com]

Oh well.

[looking4tarzan.livejournal.com]

Rizzo the Rat in Muppets Christmas Carol

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

If you can work out some way to nominate the province of Alberta's performance of Wyoming in Brokeback Mountain for BEST PORTRAYAL OF SOMEWHERE ELSE I would giggle.

Best 'car chase' scene not actually involving cars? (I'm thinking boats, helicopters, horses...) Least chemistry shown between romantic leads? Ugliest haircut?

[jetspeaks.livejournal.com]

If you can work out some way to nominate the province of Alberta's performance of Wyoming in Brokeback Mountain for BEST PORTRAYAL OF SOMEWHERE ELSE I would giggle.

Then you could include Vancouver's portrayal of Anytown, USA, in TV series (and movies?) for the last 20 years. :)

Actually, Canada's performance as America in almost any movie...

[roaringmice.livejournal.com]

That's actually a pretty good idea. The best use of a non-US location to mimic an actual-US location goes to:

- Brokeback Mountain (Alberta for Wyoming)
- etc. etc. etc. Haven't seen many films this year.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Brokeback was officially 2005, not 2006, but I love the idea of doing a list of best Canadian stand-ins. Especially since it's my secret goal to sneak Canadian stuff (propaganda!) into the magazine—I'm still so psyched about my Slings & Arrows review.

We actually already have ugliest haircut, and have previously done worst chemistry, so you're totally on our wavelength! And I really like the chase idea—I'll look into that. Thank you!

[tipsywitch.livejournal.com]

Best use of Eyeliner in a supporting Role ( Jack Sparrow?????)

Most drivel made of an excellent book - (The Da Vinci Code?)

Best Monk is a supporting Role

Most miscast male lead ( Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon in The Da Vinci Code?????)

Ooop sorry, dismounting high horse now...

Best use of bubbles in a supporting role


Oh I need a drink...

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

I love the idea of "Best Monk." Were there any other monk movies? 2006 should have been a big year for monks!

[tipsywitch.livejournal.com]

Could you count Nacho Libre?

[roaringmice.livejournal.com]

A few questions you could consider:

- Worst attempt at an American accent by a non-American actor:

- Best attempt: Christian Bale.

- Best use of numbers in a film title: "18 Fingers of Death!", "10.5: Apocalypse"...

- Best use of "Ka-chow!" in a screenplay: "Cars"


I suck at this. I can come up with tons of questions, but I've seen so few films that I can't give any answers.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

I have the same problem! I try to blame it on "I was out of the country!" but that's really a poor excuse.

Still, even categories are very helpful, because I have the Nielsen list of everything that came out and I can try to match things up. So, thank you!

[mecurtin.livejournal.com]

Oh, I think Hugh Laurie is probably winning the "Best Attempt at Speakin Amurkin". But it would be a worthwhile category, all right.

Then there's "Cross-Ethnic Casting" (a Hollywood tradition): e.g. Wentworth Miller cast as White, various Chinese cast as Japanese, etc.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Total agreement about Hugh. *heart*

I can think of lots of great cross-ethnic examples in TV, but I have to stick to films for this. My brain is lame today.

[roaringmice.livejournal.com]

Korean actors cast as anyone Asian...

BTW, I LURVE Wentworth Miller. But sadly, this is for film, not tv.

I think one of the finest American accents by a non-American in film today is Charlese Theron. She does a remarkable job. Natalie Portman is good, too. Christian Bale, who I'd mentioned before.

Scariest attempt at a Boston accent: Look at the film, The Departed. Boston natives Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg of course do quite well, and Leo DiCaprio does pretty well, considering. But the rest? Take your pick.

Trin, you can do something where you come up with the questions, and then post them here to have people help you match up answers.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

That's a really good idea! I have a Scary Editorial Meeting coming up, but I'll try to put that together.

[wychwood]

Portman's *English* accent, on the other hand... she was good in V for Vendetta, but despite having a "dialogue coach" still sounded more like a South African than one would really expect from an English teenager :)

Does she not naturally use an American accent? I thought she'd lived in the US from an early age.

Trin, you can do something where you come up with the questions, and then post them here to have people help you match up answers.

That sounds like a good plan to me.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

I don't think I've been clear, each list deals only with the given year. So since Ben and Willard didn't come out the year we did rats, they're not nominated.

I think it's cool.

Phew! The line between 'cool' and 'annoying' can be rather thin at times, so...

Thanks for the categories! I like them a lot. Now if only I could think of films to match!

[notpoetry.livejournal.com]

CANADIAN ACTOR LEAST LIKELY TO APPEAR IN A FILM WITH PAUL GROSS

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

WHO? WHO?

Or is it David Hewlett because that would somehow cause some cataclysmic tear in the fabric of the universe?

*is pleased to have already snuck Paul Gross into the magazine once*

[notpoetry.livejournal.com]

how did you get paul gross into the magazine!

actually, David Hewlett was in a tv miniseries that lasted TEN THOUSAND HOURS with Paul Gross about some war or another. MOST BORING THING EVER.

but you can totally cheat.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

I stand corrected. And amazingly, the universe also still stands!

I got PG by convincing my editor that we needed to include Slings & Arrows in our "12 DVDs of Christmas" feature. So there's a very flattering review (written by me) and a picture of the S1 box art.

Hey, it's a start!

[niennah.livejournal.com]

I, being slow of brain today, can think of nothing, I'm afraid. Do the films all have to be from this year?

Also, I don't find it annoying at all! The opposite, in fact. Soon I'll begin research for my fanfiction presentation for 5 weeks' time, and I assure you I'll probably outdo you in posting about it. (Also, if I get around to asking questions, I'd love your input if you have time!)

[wychwood]

I like the random requests :) They intrigue me! Although I very rarely have useful input, because I simply don't have the mainstream knowledge needed...

I think isiscolo's idea of "Best Performance By A Place Pretending To Be Another Place" is good *g*.

How about something like:
- Most Hilariously Inappropriate Music Choice In A Film Score? (I read a review of something earlier which mentioned the use of a contemporary pop-song for a dance between two nineteenth century characters.)
- Veteran Actor Most Obviously Desperate For Money? (Think, for instance, Jeremy Irons in the appalling Dungeons and Dragons film)
- Worst Case of Nepotism (by which I mean those people who apparently make it as actors purely based on being related to someone good)
- Bulwer Lytton Award for Prose (bad dialogue, perhaps?)
- Hed Pastede On Yay Award (obviously that name wouldn't do *g*. But something for really obviously bad special effects)

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

I like the nepotism one. Though the only example I can think of is Material Girls starring Hilary and Haylie Duff, and frankly, I'm sad that I even know that that movie exists.

[quettaser.livejournal.com]

If nothing else, there should definitely be a MOST SNAKES ON A PLANE category.

Film adaptation that took itself most seriously (ugh, but reword that into something better): MIAMI VICE I AM LOOKING AT YOU.

Best performance by a race car in a film? Cars and Talladega Nights and Fast and the Furious 3

OH! Least necessary third film in a series: MI:3, FatF 3, X3

Hope that helps.

[eruthros]

Is this for movies only, or does TV count too? Because if TV counts, then one could do a fun "best performance by an automobile" category that would grab Supernatural.

Anyway. Most baffling co-stars:
Gerard Depardieu and Queen Latifah (Last Holiday)
Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher (The Guardian)
and, um, other ones.

Best computer-generated performace.

Best performance by a nearly-forgotten tv star clearly cast just for name recognition:
David Duchovny (Trust the Man)
Alyson Hannigan (Date Movie)
Sarah Michelle Gellar (The Return)
and others

I'd like to propose a category for "best (or most ridiculous, or most unnecessary, or whatever) performance by Actor X in 2006," but I can't think of any actors who are in five films.
Tim Allen's in three, Will Farrell's in three, Lindsay Lohan's in three, Gael Garcia Bernal's in three, Kate Winslet's in three, Bill Nighy's in three, Matt Dillon's in four, Robin Williams is in four -- maybe it could be "best triple play by a single actor" and list all the three-movie folks?

[tahariel.livejournal.com]

Best Accidentally Funny Part? Most attractive man wearing tights? (Brandon Routh, I am looking at you!)

[bruinsfan.livejournal.com]

BEST PERFORMANCE IN THE ROLE OF A STAGE MAGICIAN TOURING EUROPE (FIN-DE-SIECLE PERIOD OPTIONAL):

Edward Norton for The Illusionist

Christian Bale for The Prestige

Hugh Jackman for The Prestige

Woody Allen for Scoop

Tom Cruise for the Mission Impossible 3 publicity junket/childbirth announcement

(Assuming his fathering a child is the most spectacular illusion performed for the public in recent memory...)

[darcydodo]

On the one hand, I suddenly have no ideas what movies have or will come out this year. But I think you could probably do some sort of "Queeniest" category, since there's things like "The Queen" out right now, and also probably plenty of films with people queening around.

[spring-1970.livejournal.com]

Most surprising Actor who sold his/her ethics (ie - they backed up the money truck) to be on tv:

- James Woods
- Ray Liotta
- Alec Baldwin
- Timothy Hutton

Most surprising (in a good way) actor to see back on tv:

- Tim Daly
- William Shatner
- Edward James Olmos
- Matthew Perry


Most "OMG if you didn't have breasts you could't act" actress:

- Jessica Alba
- Jeri Ryan
- Any of the actresses on "Fashion House" or "Desire"



(I don't have five choices in each one but thought others could maybe come up with enough to fill out the rest, if you like them)

[thefirstnet.livejournal.com]

Best Scientologist Influence in a Film

The only person I can think of is Tom Cruz for Mission Impossible III, but it's the film industry, there have to be others out there.

[thefirstnet.livejournal.com]

*Cruise...I blame the illness for my inability to spell...I can pretend

[grey-bard.livejournal.com]

Most Disturbing Interpretation Of Childhood Icon

Superman Returns: Superman as Lois Lane's Baby Daddy
Chronicles of Narnia: Mr. Tumnus as a stranger with candy (and tea)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Willy Wonka as popstar-like lunatic with dentist issues

[bruinsfan.livejournal.com]

Did The Cat in the Hat come out in the last year? The traumatic amnesia seems to have left me uncertain of the box office date...

[neocatholic3000.livejournal.com]

Don't know if you're still taking suggestions (but it's too much fun not to play):

1. Most Talented Actor Who Needs to Ditch Their Agent"...
- Robin Williams always comes to mind...

2. Most Platonic "Romantic" Pairing...

Hewlett in L.A.

[whimsicalwhims.livejournal.com]

::waves:: I friended you a little while back, but I realize that this is the first time I've actually said "Hi."

Since you actually live in L.A., I was wondering if you had seen this: David Hewlett will be hosting a sneak preview of his movie in L.A. on November 16th. (http://www.adogsbreakfastmovie.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=40&Itemid=2")

There's no possible way that I'd be able to go, but I hope that others can.