For want of a tooth...

[trinityofone]

Thank you, everyone, for all the thoughtful advice you gave me yesterday. It was really appreciated, and empowering, and I was starting to feel brave and ready to do something.

Then I went to my second dentist appointment this morning.

The two cavities are worse than they thought. At the very least, I need root canals; at worst, the teeth are going to have to be replaced. Months of work are going to be involved, and thousands of dollars.

So...that's it. I can't quit. Because of my fucking teeth, I have to stay at this job that I hate.

I just...y'know, if this were a novel, this would be the kind of plot twist that would really piss me off. You can change your life but what's stopping you is DENTISTRY? What bullshit is this?

Anyway. I'm back at the office now with temporary fillings, puffy chipmunk cheeks, and a head woozy from Novocain, which is also probably the only thing that's keeping me from smashing stuff. I know that this is not a tragedy; this is an inconvenience, an annoyance. I'm not actually ill, so it could be a lot worse; with my insurance and those savings I was talking about, I will even be able to afford this (I think), although all that fallback money is going to be gone. It could be so much worse.

But I'm furious at myself, and I guess at the world? At TPTB? Fate? Way to give me a big old FU, guys; I think I got the message.

So, I guess it's back to work.

Sigh.

Comments

[randomeliza.livejournal.com]

Aw, honey. *hugs* Well, I'd say something like "look on the bright side - when this is done you'll be out of pain!" but I know that that isn't particularly helpful because you'll still have a job you hate even if you can eat ice cream without cringing. But you know what? You needed to do this. It's part of being a grown-up, and you're doing it because taking care of yourself and your health is the most important thing. You can put up with this shit job for a little while longer - you're strong, stronger than you know, and you can deal. I have faith in you. All of us do.

*hugs* Stay strong, my dear. You'll get through this.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

You're right. I have to be adult about this. And probably, I should try to do so with a little less whining, because in the scheme of things, it's really not that big a deal.

*squeezes, but steers clear of the jaw-region*