Giant cartoon asses & existential dilemmas

I just received a press release for a show about a giant cartoon ass that fights crime. A GIANT CARTOON ASS THAT FIGHTS CRIME. *cries*

This...may be only tangentially related to giant cartoon asses, but god, I want to change what I'm doing, change my life so badly. This feels like such a dead end and it's so depressing. I start thinking crazy thoughts like, "I could join the army!" "I could become a cop!" "I could become a stewardess flight attendant!" Because that at least would be different. But I'd probably be miserable doing those things, too.

I feel like I need to do something bold, take some sort of leap of faith, but not only am I a coward, I don't even know what kind of leap to take. What the hell should I do with myself? How come I don't even really know what I want anymore?

I was at a party the other night and one of my parents' friends, who's an entertainment journalist and who I worked as a PA for one summer during college, was there. It was the first time I'd seen her since I graduated. She said, "So, you're working at an entertainment magazine now? You went to Berkeley for that?" She was "kidding," but...Jesus Christ, why am I doing this? What the hell am I doing with my life?

How do I change?