Ficlet: And Time

[trinityofone]

dar_jeeling was saying that the Wraith aren’t very scary. She’s right; they’re not. But they should be.

Title: And Time
Rating: PG
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Length: 525 words
Summary: It’s only a second.

And Time

It’s only a second. Less than. A little pinch, any actual pain subsumed by fear, and by the rapid flurry of movement: Sheppard’s strong hands, Sheppard’s set mouth, Sheppard pulling the trigger again and again until the Wraith is little more than a stain on the ground.

Rodney touches his chest, and his hand comes away wet.

“It...i-it...” he says, and Sheppard catches him as he falls.

*

Sheppard waits with him in the infirmary, sits beside him as Beckett walks off frowning and comes back smiling, shocked into laughter by his relief. “It’s nothing,” Carson says.

“Nothing?” echoes Rodney.

“Nothing,” breathes Sheppard, hand a steady weight against his arm.

He feels light-headed when he stands, but then that’s adrenaline for you.

*

Walking Rodney back to his room, Sheppard says, “I’m sorry.”

Rodney’s still a little out of it, either coming up or coming down. Not sure which. “Sorry?” he says. “Why are you sorry? Don’t be sorry, you saved me. Colonel, you--oh, God,” because that’s when it truly sinks in, how close he came, what that second meant. What another one would have. Or another.

He gropes at the wall, finds Sheppard’s hand. Stares up into his hooded eyes, the shadows there. Hears him whisper, “But I let it get you, first.”

When they come together, it’s not especially good or hot or even all that nice. It’s frantic and desperate, and as vital to them as breathing.

*

Rodney can’t sleep. Can’t, doesn’t want to: it’s all tied together in an illogical conviction that going to sleep will be like giving up. Will be mind and body slowing down, even as time marches onward, onward, inexorably on--

“Shh,” John whispers, “it’s all right, you’re all right.”

Rodney swallows, rolls to face him. “Whole?” he says.

John splays a hand lightly across Rodney’s naked chest. “There’s no hole,” he says. “You’re fine.” He didn’t even need a bandage.

Rodney pushes himself up. “I should--”

John shakes his head. “You don’t have to do anything. Just rest.” A breath, a heartbeat. “I’ll stay.”

“Okay,” Rodney says. “Okay.” Moves his head into the hollow of John’s shoulder; eagerly accepts the arms around his back. Allows himself to be lulled by John’s breathing, the easy push of air through lungs that will expand and contract, expand and contract, tasting the breeze on a thousand different planets for decades still to come.

Finally, his own breathing slows. He sleeps.

*

John caresses Rodney’s face like a blind man, reading lips and chin and oddly delicate lashes like a book of raised letters, coded messages conveyed to fingers educated enough to know. He tries to blink away the image of the Wraith leaning in, that single second of contact in which Rodney’s eyes went wide, but John’s heart was the one that stopped.

Fingers threaded through the thin thatch of Rodney’s hair, one arm thrown casual-tight around his waist. In the dark, John thinks bold thoughts about never letting go.

When he finds the grey hair, he tries to tell himself it’s just a trick of the light. A little pinch; a second only, and then it’s gone.

Comments

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

I AM RESET-FREE! (Though I could totally use one for comment-response timeliness.)

Thank you. ;-)

[slodwick.livejournal.com]

*aches*

This is so lovely, and so deftly done. I love it.

In the dark, John thinks bold thoughts about never letting go

And that is pure poetry. *harts*

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Thank you! You know, I'd almost forgotten I wrote this fic. I kind of like it! (Oh, but I shame me! *deserves no pity*)

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Thanks! *passes you respirator*

I MUST FINISH REPLYING TO COMMENTS SO I CAN WRITE YOU GIRL!JOHN! Yes. *nods*

[reccea.livejournal.com]

The idea of the wraith is so much scarier than the reality. But I like the way you use their reactions to make the wraith seem more horrifying than they are. A good, quiet fic. Thanks.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Yes, when the Wraith are not all swishy leather coats and funky chin braids, they are frightening. But dude--chin braids!

Anyway, I'm glad you liked it--thank you!

[toniabarone.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. Poor Rodney. And that last line. *snorts* Wouldn't work with me. I started goin' gray at 21. Folk in dad's family gray early. But...damn strong piece. Thanks for this.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Really, grey at 21? That could be kinda cool, though. You should tell everyone you had a super-traumatizing experience and it happened overnight. Like Eadweard Muybridge. *nods*

Glad you liked it other than that. Thanks!

[elli.livejournal.com]

I love it when pieces are so introspective. wonderful job :)

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It's nice to write quietly sometimes.

[chopchica.livejournal.com]

This is just beautiful. From the set of John's mouth when he pulls the trigger, to the way he can't stop touching later, and the fear of just how close they came to losing it all, I love every word of this.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Wow. I really, really like that. The Wraith do get scarier when, instead of thinking of them as vampires in bad makeup, you think of them as time and mortality speeded up. [shudders]

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Fingers threaded through the thin thatch of Rodney’s hair, one arm thrown casual-tight around his waist. In the dark, John thinks bold thoughts about never letting go.

I kind of love that to death.

[sp23.livejournal.com]

This was very powerful. Loved how you were able to show Rodney's fear and then follow it up with John's. Just wonderful.

[dar-jeeling.livejournal.com]

When he finds the grey hair, he tries to tell himself it’s just a trick of the light. A little pinch; a second only, and then it’s gone.

Yes, omg! That's exactly what I was missing. I love how it resonates with the beginning.

[thegrrrl2002.livejournal.com]

Oooh, nice. I love how you captured the fear, and the sadness of what might happen to them. And the grey hair--eep! Chills.

Very powerful. I love it.

Bad sex is sometimes good sex

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

When they come together, it’s not especially good or hot or even all that nice. It’s frantic and desperate, and as vital to them as breathing.

I really like that, both the wording of it and its realism. :)

[coreopsis.livejournal.com]

oh. ouch. Really fantastic work.

[violin-road.livejournal.com]

... Oh man. This is creepy, and this is ... yes. Oh man. Thumbs up.

(And I'd use it but it's not my icon, so ... Yep. Those Wraith. Reeeeal scary (http://www.livejournal.com/userpic/33606449/2094701)!)

[the-moonmoth.livejournal.com]

Well, I kind of already find the Wraith frightening (and they gave my poor sensitive bf nightmares, heh...), but yeah, I see what you mean about a bit of a lack of horror. And horror is really what you conveyed here with the build, and then that awful last line. Terrific job.

[lonespark.livejournal.com]

Yeah, see, maybe I'm just easy, but they scare the shit out of me and give me nightmares. It might be better if they left more to the imagination, and I think they'll become less scary as they learn more about them, but any enemy that makes sending your people everywhere with suicide pills a really good idea is pretty awful.

I think the times when they aren't scary are bad writing, letting the good guys win despite too many odds. The Defiant One was one episode definitely fraught with horror for little old me. And that same level of horror would have been hard to achieve with most other villains.

[wychwood]

I like that. Nice atmosphere to it.

People have said to me that the Wraith aren't scary; on the whole, I tend to agree - but I never doubted that the people in Atlantis thought they were scary, and that does enough for me. It's less convincing this season, but back in S1 when they first found out what the Wraith were? I really bought into their terror. And in The Siege, too.

This for me summons up that same sense of terror, the realisation of how horrible it really is, sucking out someone's life...

I like the way the language echoes, too, from the start to the end - a little pinch, just a second...

[iadorespike]

Beautiful, breathtaking, lovely...just right.

He tries to blink away the image of the Wraith leaning in, that single second of contact in which Rodney’s eyes went wide, but John’s heart was the one that stopped.

And...wow. I really loved this, thanks...

Anna

[alizarin-nyc.livejournal.com]

Beautiful. Especially this:

Allows himself to be lulled by John’s breathing, the easy push of air through lungs that will expand and contract, expand and contract, tasting the breeze on a thousand different planets for decades still to come.

[melagan.livejournal.com]

Quiet and effective. And the last line left shivers.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Beautifully done! I love the circularity of the ending echoing the beginning; that's my very favorite story device.

[eccentric-alex.livejournal.com]

If you keep this up, I'm going to start expecting something from you, you know. All of your fic that I've read so far has been top-notch, including this one.

D'you mind if I friend you? I want to know first when you write something new :)

[nakedwesley.livejournal.com]

I can't put into words how much I love this. So much feeling and emotion in so few words. Perfect.

[chalcopyrite.livejournal.com]

Ooh. Wonderful how this circled back on itself. Some perfect turns of phrase -- I especially like casual-tight, because yeah, right there; everything, in one hyphenated word.

[aurora]

Your writing gives me goose bumps. In the best possible way.

*saves to memories*