OMG SONGFIC!

[trinityofone]

I always get nervous when I see author’s notes to the effect of, “Based on a song by [insert band here, the more emo the better].” I will be the first to admit that this is entirely hypocritical and unfair, as I have based at least three SGA stories on U2 songs, and just spent all afternoon working on one based on “The Ocean.” I realized that I could go through my (extensive) U2 catalogue and come up with cracked story ideas based on a bunch of songs in no time at all. So (since I don’t have anything better to do, like, I don't know, write the essay I'm supposed to be working on) I decided to do just that.

A Day Without Me - This is a song about suicide, but it is the world’s JAUNTIEST song about suicide, so I would have a hard time writing something depressing to it. Maybe I could do some sort of It’s a Wonderful Life thing, where an angel Ancient thinks Rodney is depressed and suicidal, and Rodney’s like, “No, it was just that bad chilli I had for lunch,” but the Ancient WON’T HEAR IT, and makes Rodney see what the world would be like if he had never been born, and everything’s a mess and people are dead and John’s hair looks flat, and Rodney’s like, “Ha! I KNEW IT! You can send me back now.” And the Ancient’s like, “Crap, now I’ll never get my wings Ascend,” but then it has a threesome with John and Rodney so everything’s fine, and Elizabeth goes to Carson for more meds because she keeps thinking she hears bells ringing.

Another Time, Another Place - This song is about two people not being able to find a private place to have sex. So in this story, John and Rodney cannot find a private place to have sex. But then they do. And they do. The end.

Babyface - John is a fashion model, and one day Rodney’s in the supermarket buying, um, bread, and he’s waiting in line, staring at John’s picture on the cover of GQ or something, and then he turns around and JOHN IS RIGHT BEHIND HIM. Also buying bread. The SAME BRAND. So then they have a very sputtery, very cute conversation over coffee (and bread). And this of course leads to sex, and Rodney is like, “Wow, this is like all my best masturbatory fantasies COMBINED,” and John’s all, “Thanks for that,” but secretly he is TOUCHED, and the relationship gets more and more serious and Rodney’s sometimes afraid that John’s going to leave him for someone “in the business,” but John hasn’t had this much intellectual stimulation in years and at night he buries his beautiful face against Rodney’s neck, and in that moment, Rodney believes that it’s real.

Discothèque - I don’t know, something to do with a gay club and dressing up like The Village People. Rodney wears chaps.

Electrical Storm - All I know about this story is that it’s really angsty and there’s lots of sliding out from between dirty, sweat-stained sheets to go make out in the rain, and lightning ripping the sky, and bodies pressing tightly together as the waves crash over and under and around them. And possibly, John is a mermaid.

Exit - John thinks Rodney has been killed and goes medieval on some alien people’s collective ass. It’s really nasty and dark and frankly, I don’t want to go there.

Fast Cars - Definitely someone is a race car driver.

Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me - For some reason, this plays out in my mind as either 1) SGA meets Gypsy, with John as Gypsy Rose Lee, or 2) a story in which John and Rodney are diamond thieves or something. In both versions, I believe there is sex in the back of a limo.

If You Wear That Velvet Dress - PWP. Someone’s in a dress. I think it’s Rodney. I think it’s Human Vacillation-verse. And I think I might actually write this. *shame*

Lemon - Rodney/Sam. Rodney pining. Painful irony. I am emotionally fourteen, and I want this story written SO MUCH.

Stories for Boys - AU where John and Rodney grew up together in some sort of idyllic middle-America that exists only as nostalgia and in certain stories by Ray Bradbury or Stephen King. There’s lots of running through fields, fighting epic battles with sticks, and hiding in a disused hayloft and reading comic books as the rain pours down. There’s also an undercurrent of innocent longing, painful but filled with the promise of a possible future... This is the most emotionally manipulative story EVER, and I LOVE IT.

The Ground Beneath (His) Feet - Because I can never tire of Rodney playing Orpheus.

Tryin’ to Throw Your Arms Around the World - Drunk!fic. Earthside leave drunk!fic, preferably with the bloody nose and the sunrise both, and Rodney holding John’s head in his lap and stroking his hair when he finally comes home, because I guess if Rodney is Orpheus, in this one John gets to play Odysseus.

Two Shots of Happy, One Shot of Sad - The one where John is a tired, world-weary lounge singer and Rodney is, um, his new accompanist, yes, HIS NEW ACCOMPANIST WHO BRINGS JOY AND VERVE BACK INTO HIS LIFE. Verve, people. Yes.

Van Diemen’s Land - It’s the early 19th Century, and John and Rodney are both transported for different—but equally unjust and angst-filled!—reasons to the penal colony in Tasmania. In this hostile, harsh new clime, they find strength, love, redemption—and each other. Possibly, this story would make a good controversial new BBC miniseries. Or the pornier version could be an indie sleeper hit!

Wild Honey - John is a monkey and Rodney is the tree that...okay, no. Just no.

Yahweh - Rodney is God. No, seriously: why hasn’t there been any ‘Rodney is God’ fic yet? Get with the program, people.

Now watch me actually go and write one of these, because I am honestly THAT INSANE.

Comments

[tikiaceae.livejournal.com]

You should! You so should!

Maybe the Babyface one. 'Cause John as a male model? Hee. or Two Shots of Happy or Velvet Dress... or maybe all of them??? *g*

[violin-road.livejournal.com]

I totally want to read the "Stories for boys" one. Yay emotional manipulation!

[coreopsis.livejournal.com]

You had me at: John is a fashion model, and one day Rodney’s in the supermarket buying, um, bread

The squee was deafening. You will write this some day, right? Please?

Stories for Boys made me picture John and Rodney in Tadfield. John would definitely be Adam. *g* Rodney kind of is already a mix of Wensley and Brian.

And then you wrote: The one where John is a tired, world-weary lounge singer and Rodney is, um, his new accompanist
And I died. But then I came back as a zombie/ghost/whatever to ask for the sex in the limo one--diamond thieves or Gypsy, I don't care, as long as the two of them are getting off in the back of a limo. Because wow with the hotness.

[soupytwist.livejournal.com]

I am so scared that you've actually made me want to read those. Like, even the monkey/tree...well, OK, that one slightly less, but still, you have EEEVIL POWERS!

(And you rock. :))

[turtlespeaks.livejournal.com]

Some of these are downright terrfying, and all I can think is "OMG DO IT!" Especially the 'Two Shots of Happy, One Shot of Sad' and "Van Diemen's Land' and 'Lemon' (and secretly 'A Day Without Me' as well, because I'm emotionally tweleve and hormonally sixteen, and apparently I really go for that kinda thing. *is lame*)

Also, dear lord, Rodney as GOD? *is very scared*

[clarkangel.livejournal.com]

Casting my vote for BABYFACE! Just reading the idea for it had me all excited. How they meet. Who they are. What happens when they're together. PLEASE write this. Pretty please! :D

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Oh my god. I have developed a sudden need for John as a mermaid. Curse you! Curse you!

(I also need Yahweh and Babyface. And also If You Wear That Velvet Dress. I own my neediness.)

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

'Kay, you must write the Babyface one NOW.

And about six others.

*meeps at you pleadingly*

*makes Puss In Boots eyes*

[whatdanidigs.livejournal.com]

First I want to scream, Do all of them all of them. But I won't. Instead I will gather my wits and say, The Model one would kick ass.

Yes, please...

[--tk--.livejournal.com]

:),

Yes, please...I'll take them all. :) They sound so good. I like the thought of John as a mermaid. And he can give up his tail and swimming, because Rodney has a water phobia. And then be miserable on the ground but sooooo desperately in love with Rodney. And Rodney will be all like, searching, searching for something, anything to make it better even letting John go. And then, there will be flying. And flying will be everything that swimming was and more because, you know, there will be Rodney. :)

Yeah, definitely mermaid fic.

[stellahobbit.livejournal.com]

I don’t know, something to do with a gay club and dressing up like The Village People. Rodney wears chaps.

I believe the pivotal point in that story would be when we discover that they are crotchless chaps.

'Stories For Boys' would be awesome, because it would be like kid!fic then emoteenager!fic. Then John would have to more away (damn the Airforce!) and they'd meet up again in Atlantis. And fall in love. And eat popcorn together.

If you wrote 'Van Diemen's Land' you know I'd beta it like woah for you. 'Cause I'm qualified, ya know? I'm Australian, and I've read the 'Potato Factory' a bunch of times ;-)

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

I know. I kind of want to set it in the town I grew up in. I AM SO SICK.

[violin-road.livejournal.com]

I really can only approve.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

This is going to be one of those things where I'm like, "Hey, John should be a priest"--secretly hoping that someone else will write it--but then I end up doing it, because I am weak, dammit, WEAK--isn't it?

I actually have another (yes! another!) idea that might work for limo sex, hmm.

And John as Adam would be the hottest thing ever. Yow.

[coreopsis.livejournal.com]

The limo sex would also fit into the fashion model one. I'm just sayin'.

[randomeliza.livejournal.com]

And possibly, John is a mermaid.

Only in SGA fandom could I read this sentence and go, "Huh, that sounds completely not weird."

I'm totally for the Rodney Is God fic. Blasphemy and I are quite good friends. And also, "verve" is a funny word.

Re: Yes, please...

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Aww, crap. Now I'm totally picturing 'Rodney McKay and John Sheppard star in Splash!' *shakes fist* Why do they have to be such versatile, versatile boys?

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Upon further consideration, limo sex goes well with EVERYTHING. No story should be considered complete without limo sex. This shall be my new motto!

[coreopsis.livejournal.com]

It's true. And one of the better parts of popslash/rockslash. Lots of limo sex opportunities. *g*

So yeah, I highly encourage it in SGA as well. *g*

[20thcenturyvole.livejournal.com]

Oh my dear fucking auntie Jesus (and a chance to use this icon): you are INSANE IN YOUR BRANE and I totally just spent the last five minutes cackling (yes, CACKLING, like the Wicked Witch of the West) and totally unable to explain to my mother why.

And oh God, it's a sign of exactly how cracked this fandom is that I totally want you to write at least half of these. Including the one where, possibly, John is a mermaid.

[fairestcat]

I love your twisty brain.

Seriously, just... these are so wrong and yet so many of them are so right too...

Also, I think I now need to put my U2 catalog on random for the day.

Except now every song I listen to I'm going to be hearing a John/Rodney plot for it

[fairestcat]

OMG you've infected my brain.

Elevation: wherein Rodney finally understands a little bit how John feels about flying, because sex with John is like that. Sex like flying it's the eternal John/Rodney metaphor...

Bullet the Blue Sky: Angsty, cynical Afghanistan-era John. Or, even better, the cynical Reagan-era AU in which instead of Afghanistan, John gets sent on a secret mission in el Salvador

Where the Streets Have No Name: Ok, actually, that could be half the stories in the fandom, all about finding freedom and then love in the Pegasus Galaxy

That's it, you are officially EVIL!!!

[strina]

I kind of desperately want the Yahweh one. Because it doesn't count as a god complex if you're actually a deity!

[livrelibre.livejournal.com]

OK, so I nearly exploded from squee on If You Wear That Velvet Dress, because I've been trying to restrain myself from stalking you for more Human Vacillation (which I love with a love that is pure, unholy and true)--seriously, if you're ever on LJ and you hear a small rustling noise behind you and you turn around and no one's there; don't worry--it's just me. I hvae no evil intentions.

And then I wanted Electrical Storm too esp. with mermaids because this is just the kind of crack that SGA has me hooked on. And then I read the comments and now I *need* Electrical Storm.

And Van Diemen's Land and Yahweh and . . .um, yeah, I'll just go back to rustling behind you now.

[wychwood]

The strange squawking sounds you just heard drifting on the wind?

Yeah, that was me.

You really are COMPLETELY INSANE, aren't you? I approve heartily.

I want to read: Babyface (*especially* this one), Lemon (because actually this could make a really good story), Stories for Boys, Tryin' to Throw Your Arms, Two Shots (Verve! Yay!), and Van Diemen's Land (I love that song, what can I say?).

And omg Fast Cars would totally have to be John as racing driver because YES, and also? The line about "where I am it is a lot of fun / out in the desert to dismantle an atomic bomb", that's Rodney, because he's John's... engineer, yes! And then he went away to be a nuclear physicist, but John needs him back because he can't race without Rodney! And maybe even there could be plot because someone over on the Wraith team is trying to sabotage John's car, and Rodney has to stop them!!!1!

but I really hope you don't write the "Yahweh" one, because I adore that song, and it's just gorgeous, and I would have to read the fic because it is like AN EVIL COMPULSION and it would make me sad and I would never be able to listen to the song in the same way again but everyone else would love it, so...

(on a more serious note, I actually find songs give me ideas all the time. You can't let the song-storyline override the actual characterisation, but I don't think it's a problem per se. Although I may only be saying this because I vidded about half of "City of Blinding Lights" in my head yesterday. It's (John/Rodney)/Atlantis. All the way. I may actually have to do this, because it's so right.)