Giant cartoon asses & existential dilemmas

[trinityofone]

I just received a press release for a show about a giant cartoon ass that fights crime. A GIANT CARTOON ASS THAT FIGHTS CRIME. *cries*

This...may be only tangentially related to giant cartoon asses, but god, I want to change what I'm doing, change my life so badly. This feels like such a dead end and it's so depressing. I start thinking crazy thoughts like, "I could join the army!" "I could become a cop!" "I could become a stewardess flight attendant!" Because that at least would be different. But I'd probably be miserable doing those things, too.

I feel like I need to do something bold, take some sort of leap of faith, but not only am I a coward, I don't even know what kind of leap to take. What the hell should I do with myself? How come I don't even really know what I want anymore?

I was at a party the other night and one of my parents' friends, who's an entertainment journalist and who I worked as a PA for one summer during college, was there. It was the first time I'd seen her since I graduated. She said, "So, you're working at an entertainment magazine now? You went to Berkeley for that?" She was "kidding," but...Jesus Christ, why am I doing this? What the hell am I doing with my life?

How do I change?

Comments

[pentapus.livejournal.com]

When I have similar freakouts in which I come up with ridiculous alternatives or spend three hours wondering why I didn't major in bio or art or anything but what I did, it's usually because I don't know what my options. Which, being still in school, ends me up in a career counselor's office who starts telling me about the eleventy billion options there are and here are twenty I might like and I go, "Oh, that sounds much more sane."

1) Go to the library or the bookstory and find a book called something like "Jobs for Writers" or "Jobs for [blank] majors" and get some better suggestions that army/cop/stewardess.

2) You are not going to be in this job forever, possibly not even for long. It will lead to something else, which will lead to something else. My dad went grad school -> bureau of indian affairs -> budget in AK -> consultant. My sister went art school -> graphics department of large company -> systems implementation and IT consulting -> moved to frickin' Australia.

3) Writing down even vague plans calms me down.