The first step.
Jul. 30th, 2007 08:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trinityofoneI hesitate to post about this, but I think it's important, so I'm going to. If you want to know the immediate context, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
liviapenn has a good collection of links about ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
daily_deviant's decision to use and to continue to use even after it was brought to their attention that it is offensive the word "miscegenation" as a fic prompt. However, it's a much broader issue, one that goes beyond HP fandom, and SGA fandom, and fandom in general.
I was not on LJ much during the last big discussion of racism in fandom, specifically in SGA fandom; I was, for totally unrelated reasons, having a melodramatic emo period of not wanting to post or comment very much. However, I saw a bit of what went on, so I guess that's context for this post, too.
Basically, what I want to say is a lot of things that I really do think people already know.
1. No one in fandom is being/wants to be intentionally racist. (Okay, there are probably exceptions, but if someone's being intentionally and willfully racist, that's another issue, and this post isn't really for them, anyway.) This is important to remember. We all do mean well, so attacking a person instead of a problem isn't going to help. (Note: this is not meant as a rebuke againstwitchqueen in any way; I think her letter to the daily_deviant mods was polite under the circumstances, with her anger directed at the situation, not at the people. It's more a reaction to some of what I saw happening during the last big race discussion.)
2. Even if you're not intending to be racist, it doesn't mean that you might not make a mistake and say/do something offensive or racist, by which I mean saying or doing something racist without realizing that it is. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone has subconscious prejudices/biases or areas of history or issues about which they're simply ignorant. EVERYONE. It doesn't make you a bad person. What matters is how you react when you're called on a mistake.
3. I'm going to repeat that: What matters is how you react when you're called on a mistake. I think the crux of thedaily_deviant problem is not that they did something dumb—using a word with very bad, very racist connotations most likely in ignorance of how offensive it is—it's how they reacted when their mistake was brought to their attention. Rather than admit they messed up, apologize, and fix things, they dug their heels in deeper. They refused to admit that the word they were using was offensive—but just because they claimed they didn't mean it that way doesn't make it magically inoffensive. Neither are "censorship" or "free speech" the issue here—no one is saying they can't use whatever prompt they want, just that they ought to rethink using this one. There is a huge difference between what you can do and what you should do.
The most important point I'm trying to make here is: None of us is perfect. We all make mistakes. I know this sounds like a juvenile or simplistic mash-up of "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist" and "Everyone Makes Mistakes So Why Not You," but sometimes it's the most basic ideas that are the easiest to bypass. I would like to think that we are all learning and evolving every day. What the internet—what fandom—makes possible by connecting each and every one of us to a wide variety of people from different countries, different cultural, religious, and racial backgrounds, is that it allows us to see life from points of view we might not otherwise get to experience. I mean, maybe my years at Berkeley (do you smell patchouli?) are showing, but I really do feel like we should all be able to learn from each other. I really do not think this is hopelessly naive. And I really do think that my time on LiveJournal and in fandom has made my perspective broader, and my awareness of certain issues more acute.
I mean, okay. I'm a white atheist Jew with liberal parents who's lived in both Vermont and California. I'm pretty fucking sheltered. So while I definitely think of myself as open-minded and liberal and Not a Racist, there are issues I've never even had to think about. So it's possible for me to fuck up, either by pure obliviousness or ignorance that certain issues even EXIST. I'll give you an example. Back in January, before the race discussion in SGA fandom occurred, I made a post about how I'd been watching Farscape and liked how the aliens on that show—and the alien sex—was really alien; I said I'd like to see more "alien" sex in SGA fic. Now, here's what I meant for people to take from this post: moar kinky sexxors plz. However, several people pointed out that my post could easily be read as an endorsement of fic where Ronon or Teyla or some other character is made even more "othered" than they already (stupidly) are on the show. Now, that was not what I meant AT ALL, but that doesn't mean that reading wasn't there. I just wasn't aware of it. But I am now. And hopefully, I've learned from it. I would still like to read kinky alien or interspecies sex (which, I should hope I would not have to point out, is NOT THE SAME as interracial sex (not that I'm not all for reading that too (watch me drown in my own overly-careful parentheses))), but if I were to make a post asking for it again, I would take care not to rope Ronon and Teyla into it in such a way that minimizes the real issues involving their treatment on the show and in the fandom.
I offer up this example hopefully not to start a pile on (or at least, I seriously hope not) but to illustrate that nobody's perfect, least of all me. But imperfect as we all are, it's important to recognize that there are genuine issues here—issues that are even more important to recognize because so many of them exist on a subconscious, ingrained level. But, you know, it's another cliché: the first step is recognizing that you have a problem. We could ALL stand to do better. There is room for improvement in EVERYONE. So let's try to move forward instead of digging our heels in and trying to erase our mistakes by clinging to them. To reiterate:
1. If you see someone saying or doing something offensive, point it out to them politely. I know it's infuriating, but if you start out by attacking them, they won't listen to you—they'll attack back.
2. If you get called on something you've said or done, think about it for a few minutes before responding. I know how horrible it is to realize been offensive—or, I'll come out and say it, racist—when you honestly didn't mean to, but insisting you were in the right won't make things better. Calm down, then apologize and do what you need to to make amends. If you're sincere, changes are the other person won't hate you forever. Because we're all human and we all fuck up. The important thing is how we learn from our mistakes and misassumptions, and how we behave the next time.
liviapenn has a good collection of links about daily_deviant's decision to use and to continue to use even after it was brought to their attention that it is offensive the word "miscegenation" as a fic prompt. However, it's a much broader issue, one that goes beyond HP fandom, and SGA fandom, and fandom in general.I was not on LJ much during the last big discussion of racism in fandom, specifically in SGA fandom; I was, for totally unrelated reasons, having a melodramatic emo period of not wanting to post or comment very much. However, I saw a bit of what went on, so I guess that's context for this post, too.
Basically, what I want to say is a lot of things that I really do think people already know.
1. No one in fandom is being/wants to be intentionally racist. (Okay, there are probably exceptions, but if someone's being intentionally and willfully racist, that's another issue, and this post isn't really for them, anyway.) This is important to remember. We all do mean well, so attacking a person instead of a problem isn't going to help. (Note: this is not meant as a rebuke against
witchqueen in any way; I think her letter to the daily_deviant mods was polite under the circumstances, with her anger directed at the situation, not at the people. It's more a reaction to some of what I saw happening during the last big race discussion.)2. Even if you're not intending to be racist, it doesn't mean that you might not make a mistake and say/do something offensive or racist, by which I mean saying or doing something racist without realizing that it is. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone has subconscious prejudices/biases or areas of history or issues about which they're simply ignorant. EVERYONE. It doesn't make you a bad person. What matters is how you react when you're called on a mistake.
3. I'm going to repeat that: What matters is how you react when you're called on a mistake. I think the crux of the
daily_deviant problem is not that they did something dumb—using a word with very bad, very racist connotations most likely in ignorance of how offensive it is—it's how they reacted when their mistake was brought to their attention. Rather than admit they messed up, apologize, and fix things, they dug their heels in deeper. They refused to admit that the word they were using was offensive—but just because they claimed they didn't mean it that way doesn't make it magically inoffensive. Neither are "censorship" or "free speech" the issue here—no one is saying they can't use whatever prompt they want, just that they ought to rethink using this one. There is a huge difference between what you can do and what you should do.The most important point I'm trying to make here is: None of us is perfect. We all make mistakes. I know this sounds like a juvenile or simplistic mash-up of "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist" and "Everyone Makes Mistakes So Why Not You," but sometimes it's the most basic ideas that are the easiest to bypass. I would like to think that we are all learning and evolving every day. What the internet—what fandom—makes possible by connecting each and every one of us to a wide variety of people from different countries, different cultural, religious, and racial backgrounds, is that it allows us to see life from points of view we might not otherwise get to experience. I mean, maybe my years at Berkeley (do you smell patchouli?) are showing, but I really do feel like we should all be able to learn from each other. I really do not think this is hopelessly naive. And I really do think that my time on LiveJournal and in fandom has made my perspective broader, and my awareness of certain issues more acute.
I mean, okay. I'm a white atheist Jew with liberal parents who's lived in both Vermont and California. I'm pretty fucking sheltered. So while I definitely think of myself as open-minded and liberal and Not a Racist, there are issues I've never even had to think about. So it's possible for me to fuck up, either by pure obliviousness or ignorance that certain issues even EXIST. I'll give you an example. Back in January, before the race discussion in SGA fandom occurred, I made a post about how I'd been watching Farscape and liked how the aliens on that show—and the alien sex—was really alien; I said I'd like to see more "alien" sex in SGA fic. Now, here's what I meant for people to take from this post: moar kinky sexxors plz. However, several people pointed out that my post could easily be read as an endorsement of fic where Ronon or Teyla or some other character is made even more "othered" than they already (stupidly) are on the show. Now, that was not what I meant AT ALL, but that doesn't mean that reading wasn't there. I just wasn't aware of it. But I am now. And hopefully, I've learned from it. I would still like to read kinky alien or interspecies sex (which, I should hope I would not have to point out, is NOT THE SAME as interracial sex (not that I'm not all for reading that too (watch me drown in my own overly-careful parentheses))), but if I were to make a post asking for it again, I would take care not to rope Ronon and Teyla into it in such a way that minimizes the real issues involving their treatment on the show and in the fandom.
I offer up this example hopefully not to start a pile on (or at least, I seriously hope not) but to illustrate that nobody's perfect, least of all me. But imperfect as we all are, it's important to recognize that there are genuine issues here—issues that are even more important to recognize because so many of them exist on a subconscious, ingrained level. But, you know, it's another cliché: the first step is recognizing that you have a problem. We could ALL stand to do better. There is room for improvement in EVERYONE. So let's try to move forward instead of digging our heels in and trying to erase our mistakes by clinging to them. To reiterate:
1. If you see someone saying or doing something offensive, point it out to them politely. I know it's infuriating, but if you start out by attacking them, they won't listen to you—they'll attack back.
2. If you get called on something you've said or done, think about it for a few minutes before responding. I know how horrible it is to realize been offensive—or, I'll come out and say it, racist—when you honestly didn't mean to, but insisting you were in the right won't make things better. Calm down, then apologize and do what you need to to make amends. If you're sincere, changes are the other person won't hate you forever. Because we're all human and we all fuck up. The important thing is how we learn from our mistakes and misassumptions, and how we behave the next time.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 03:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 03:33 am (UTC)The thing is, I bet I know why they reacted that way. The freaked out when they realized they had fucked up, so they immediately became defensive. But once you wedge yourself behind a wall of "we didn't do anything wrong! really!" it's really hard to get out again. Which is why I think it's important that we spread the word that fandom isn't going to ostracize you over one mistake—as long as you apologize and fix it, instead of compounding the error with more stupidity.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 04:53 am (UTC)Mostly just to say, this was well thought out and good, and thank you for posting it.
And, you know, as an aside, how are you? <3.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 05:03 am (UTC)Yes! If we could all start with an attitude of wanting to be better, I think there would be fewer problems. (And I am very relieved you thought this made sense. *g*)
And, you know, as an aside, how are you?
Still unemployed, still kind of out of it (whatever "it" is), but basically okay? =) How are you?
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 05:08 am (UTC)I'm really enjoying spending time at Cate's, but... also kind of freaking out over moving across the country and all that. *flails a teeny bit* I'm glad to hear you're sort of doing okay. <3.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 05:31 am (UTC)Moving is scary. If you want to talk about it, I'm willing to drag myself onto AIM. ;-) *hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 05:41 am (UTC)The SJC hasn't actually started yet - next fall! - so I'm waiting to see.
Well, I'm doing OK with the moving bit at exactly this second, but I would love to talk to you if you wanted to haul yourself over to the great evil of AIM. *G*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 05:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 05:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 05:49 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 06:04 am (UTC)Trufax!
Date: 2007-07-31 06:09 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 05:17 am (UTC)Because no. No, no, no, no. It is possible to not realize the bad connotations of that word. I myself had only a vague idea of what that word meant, and an even vaguer idea of the connotations of that word. I've still never used it in my life, I've never even heard it used before, EVER.
I'm ALREADY wary of using interracial relationships as a kink, because the idea of a kink is something that is kept private, not meant to be discussed in 'polite' company, but fine. They wanna go there, it's not my place to stop them.
People. No matter how many times I have to say it, somebody always screws it up. There is a MASSIVE difference between being censored and being responsible.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 05:28 am (UTC)I don't mean at all that if you make a mistake you are not responsible for what you did. Part of acknowledging that you were wrong involves taking responsibility for what you said. "Yeah, I said that, it was racist, and I'm sorry." The
I'm ALREADY wary of using interracial relationships as a kink, because the idea of a kink is something that is kept private, not meant to be discussed in 'polite' company
I agree, I don't see it as a kink either, and don't like to see it labeled as such for exactly the reasons you discuss. (And in case THAT wasn't clear, I was talking about interspecies sex being kinky in the OP. VERY different.) I actually think it would be wonderful if there could be a ficathon celebrating interracial couples. If I were better at organizing things (and not involved in another ficathon thing ATM) I would run one.
If any of what I said is still confusing/unclear, please let me know.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 08:01 am (UTC)And a ficathon about interracial couples would be pretty awesome. So we're on the same page in every respect, hee.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 08:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 08:05 am (UTC)Anyway, I replied to the anon comment in case you didn't see. =)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 08:04 am (UTC)a ficathon about interracial couples would be pretty awesome.
*needs to find someone cooler than me to help run that*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 06:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 07:58 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 06:45 am (UTC)But anyway, I agree with you about people making mistakes and that what you do when it's pointed out to you is the thing that matters.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 07:03 am (UTC)I really do think that if people could somehow feel reassured that they didn't have to be defensive so much, fandom would be able discuss this more openly, and that would be great. I'm not really sure how to make that happen, though.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-31 10:35 am (UTC)