The first step.

[trinityofone]

I hesitate to post about this, but I think it's important, so I'm going to. If you want to know the immediate context, liviapenn has a good collection of links about daily_deviant's decision to use and to continue to use even after it was brought to their attention that it is offensive the word "miscegenation" as a fic prompt. However, it's a much broader issue, one that goes beyond HP fandom, and SGA fandom, and fandom in general.

I was not on LJ much during the last big discussion of racism in fandom, specifically in SGA fandom; I was, for totally unrelated reasons, having a melodramatic emo period of not wanting to post or comment very much. However, I saw a bit of what went on, so I guess that's context for this post, too.

Basically, what I want to say is a lot of things that I really do think people already know.

1. No one in fandom is being/wants to be intentionally racist. (Okay, there are probably exceptions, but if someone's being intentionally and willfully racist, that's another issue, and this post isn't really for them, anyway.) This is important to remember. We all do mean well, so attacking a person instead of a problem isn't going to help. (Note: this is not meant as a rebuke against witchqueen in any way; I think her letter to the daily_deviant mods was polite under the circumstances, with her anger directed at the situation, not at the people. It's more a reaction to some of what I saw happening during the last big race discussion.)

2. Even if you're not intending to be racist, it doesn't mean that you might not make a mistake and say/do something offensive or racist, by which I mean saying or doing something racist without realizing that it is. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone has subconscious prejudices/biases or areas of history or issues about which they're simply ignorant. EVERYONE. It doesn't make you a bad person. What matters is how you react when you're called on a mistake.

3. I'm going to repeat that: What matters is how you react when you're called on a mistake. I think the crux of the daily_deviant problem is not that they did something dumb—using a word with very bad, very racist connotations most likely in ignorance of how offensive it is—it's how they reacted when their mistake was brought to their attention. Rather than admit they messed up, apologize, and fix things, they dug their heels in deeper. They refused to admit that the word they were using was offensive—but just because they claimed they didn't mean it that way doesn't make it magically inoffensive. Neither are "censorship" or "free speech" the issue here—no one is saying they can't use whatever prompt they want, just that they ought to rethink using this one. There is a huge difference between what you can do and what you should do.

The most important point I'm trying to make here is: None of us is perfect. We all make mistakes. I know this sounds like a juvenile or simplistic mash-up of "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist" and "Everyone Makes Mistakes So Why Not You," but sometimes it's the most basic ideas that are the easiest to bypass. I would like to think that we are all learning and evolving every day. What the internet—what fandom—makes possible by connecting each and every one of us to a wide variety of people from different countries, different cultural, religious, and racial backgrounds, is that it allows us to see life from points of view we might not otherwise get to experience. I mean, maybe my years at Berkeley (do you smell patchouli?) are showing, but I really do feel like we should all be able to learn from each other. I really do not think this is hopelessly naive. And I really do think that my time on LiveJournal and in fandom has made my perspective broader, and my awareness of certain issues more acute.

I mean, okay. I'm a white atheist Jew with liberal parents who's lived in both Vermont and California. I'm pretty fucking sheltered. So while I definitely think of myself as open-minded and liberal and Not a Racist, there are issues I've never even had to think about. So it's possible for me to fuck up, either by pure obliviousness or ignorance that certain issues even EXIST. I'll give you an example. Back in January, before the race discussion in SGA fandom occurred, I made a post about how I'd been watching Farscape and liked how the aliens on that show—and the alien sex—was really alien; I said I'd like to see more "alien" sex in SGA fic. Now, here's what I meant for people to take from this post: moar kinky sexxors plz. However, several people pointed out that my post could easily be read as an endorsement of fic where Ronon or Teyla or some other character is made even more "othered" than they already (stupidly) are on the show. Now, that was not what I meant AT ALL, but that doesn't mean that reading wasn't there. I just wasn't aware of it. But I am now. And hopefully, I've learned from it. I would still like to read kinky alien or interspecies sex (which, I should hope I would not have to point out, is NOT THE SAME as interracial sex (not that I'm not all for reading that too (watch me drown in my own overly-careful parentheses))), but if I were to make a post asking for it again, I would take care not to rope Ronon and Teyla into it in such a way that minimizes the real issues involving their treatment on the show and in the fandom.

I offer up this example hopefully not to start a pile on (or at least, I seriously hope not) but to illustrate that nobody's perfect, least of all me. But imperfect as we all are, it's important to recognize that there are genuine issues here—issues that are even more important to recognize because so many of them exist on a subconscious, ingrained level. But, you know, it's another cliché: the first step is recognizing that you have a problem. We could ALL stand to do better. There is room for improvement in EVERYONE. So let's try to move forward instead of digging our heels in and trying to erase our mistakes by clinging to them. To reiterate:

1. If you see someone saying or doing something offensive, point it out to them politely. I know it's infuriating, but if you start out by attacking them, they won't listen to you—they'll attack back.

2. If you get called on something you've said or done, think about it for a few minutes before responding. I know how horrible it is to realize been offensive—or, I'll come out and say it, racist—when you honestly didn't mean to, but insisting you were in the right won't make things better. Calm down, then apologize and do what you need to to make amends. If you're sincere, changes are the other person won't hate you forever. Because we're all human and we all fuck up. The important thing is how we learn from our mistakes and misassumptions, and how we behave the next time.

Comments

[strifechaos.livejournal.com]

I've been out of the SGA fandom loop for a bit so I'm unaware of the specific issue at hand, but from what I can tell you worded your perspective and the general issue beautifully. People do mess up, the point isn't to rub their faces in it--it's to learn from your errors, improve yourself as a person and move on with life a little bit wiser.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I'm glad you think so; I'm always nervous about posting about this stuff. (The current issue was in HP fandom, BTW, in case you're worried things are heating up in SGA again. Though of course it's important and worth talking about no matter WHERE it's happening.)