Rite of Passage

[trinityofone]

There comes a time in every young fangirl's life when, should she still reside amongst the chalk-dust lecture halls and book-dust libraries of academia, she must pick up the mantle and write an academic paper about slash. And for me, brothers and sisters (mostly sisters), that time has come.

Basically what happened was this: my popular literature class had a guest lecturer, Prof. McCarthy. She was giving a talk on Poppy Z. Brite's Exquisite Corpse (which, embarrassingly, I still have not been able to find), and in doing so, she talked about serial killers in both history and literature, and provided us with some great quotes. (One of my favorites, Paul Anthony Woods on Norman Bates: "He registers in our hearts as one of the most loveable sickos of pop culture.") Then she showed us selected postings from the Yahoo!Group JeffreyDahmerClub. If you click on the link, which I do NOT recommend, you'll see some of what she showed us: people (mostly women) talking about how much they love Jeffrey Dahmer, how they feel he was just misunderstood, how hot he is--all very serious and earnest. I was, needless to say, disturbed by this. Especially because one of the first thoughts that entered my mind was: "Jesus, these people must've been on Yahoo!Groups talking about their love for a serial killer at the exact same time I, fresh-faced and 17, was there posting about my love for Spike."

...At which point I would like to take a time out and say: Fuck you, David Fury.

But ANYWAY...just then Prof. McCarthy said something about how both serial killers and their fans exhibit an "obsessive and insatiable" need for more, more, more. And then she brought up slash.

Slash readers and writers--the term was of course defined for the giggling audience, with the inevitable Kirk/Spock example and an increase in giggling--exhibit, said McCarthy, the same need for more of their chosen type of media: more story, more sexual tension, more sex. Brite, not a slash fan, has bemoaned the fact that while "real" writers will work hard to "create real, complex, multidimensional characters with lives that need no 'improvement' by the peanut gallery, all some readers really want is for [the characters] to fall into a huge rutting jizz-drenched scrum" (Fan Nine from Outer Space). Prof. McCarthy didn't specifically disagree with Brite; mostly she just drew the obvious connections between sex and violence, making, IMO, rather too big a deal about the possible violent connotations of the word "slash." I really wasn't quite sure what she was trying to say, actually; but more than that, I was disturbed that my mind had made the leap from Jeffrey Dahmer fandom to our fandom first, and without being prompted.

After the lecture, there was a question and answer period. I debated whether I should say anything--I didn't want to "out" myself to a room full of strangers, and I wasn't sure how to neutrally phrase a question, or even what I wanted to ask. Finally, I raised my hand and mumbled something about how, while I definitely saw the connection between obsessive-compulsive, insatiable behaviour and slash fandom, didn't Prof. McCarthy think it might have less to do with violence, and more to do with (here I stumbled, wanting to say--I think--love) romance novels? You know, the type little old ladies check out from the library, the type with Fabio on the cover? Prof. McCarthy conceded that this might be so. Class dismissed.

I left unsatisfied. I thought about just going home and writing a bitchy, dismissive post about how we are NOT like that. Yet I was still bothered by the fact that my brain had made the connection first. And what are we, if not obsessive and insatiable? What does that make us--serial readers? Serial writers? Why do we do what we do?

So I went to Dr. Jones' office hours and outed myself as a slasher.

The meeting began less than promisingly, as he greeted me by saying, "Aren't you the student that asked the question about Fabio?" I admitted that I was, and that yes, I am from Berkeley, and that yes (feeling quite the stereotype), I would like to talk more about the gay porn, please.

Dr. Jones said he was "fascinated by this phenomenon known as 'slash.'" I said I was quite an expert, but that the lecture that morning had made me think about why we did it--why I did it. One of our class' essay titles is "Write an essay on why you think formulaic writing is so popular"--could I, I inquired, write an essay about slash?

His response was enthusiastic. Very enthusiastic. Did I mention that I rather adore him? I do, I do.

Anyway, he introduced me to Prof. Silver, whom he called "the university's resident slash expert." Unfortunately, this is not an actual tenured position--too bad, 'cause nice as Prof. Silver was, I could totally have beaten her out for it. She really didn't know much about internet fandom at all, but she gave me a great book--Constance Penley's NASA/TREK, which I highly recommend, despite the fact that it's old and thus deals mostly with 'zines--and even better, a lot of encouragement. In return, I gave her links to some classic fandom stuff--she'd never heard of the Very Secret Diaries! *gasp*--and, when pressed, some of my own stories. (Yikes!) When I come out, I come out hard--bringing the clothes, the hangers, and the dust bunnies with me.

So now--

The short version: I now have just over a weak to write a paper about Why We Slash. I think I can pull together the more academic, sociological sources, but for the rest, I need your help. I want this paper to be different from other writings about slash and fandom: I'm not going to distance myself; rather, I'm going to get permission to write in the first person and include myself in the analysis. I don't want to be yet another judgmental outsider looking in (or down) on "this phenomenon known as slash"; I'm a part of it, I'm not going to deny it, and that gives me a unique perspective.

But I need other people's perspectives--other people's insights--too. So, fellow fandom folks: if you could take the time to answer the following questions, I would be deeply appreciative.

1. What do you get out of a) fanfiction in general and/or genfic; b) romantic, 'shipper fic, regardless of the genders and sexualities of the participants; and c) slash fic, especially m/m slash?

2. How does what you derive from all of these things differ a) from each other; b) from the source material; and c) from real life?

3. If you're a writer as well as a reader, do you derive a different sort of experience from writing than from reading? How do the two compare? (If you're a vidder or artist, please feel free to talk about that, too.)

4. What were your primary reasons for entering fandom--specifically slash fandom? What are your reasons for staying?

5. Why do you think slash fandom and slash fiction are the phenomena that they are?

If you want to provide info about age, gender, sexual preference, when you entered fandom or how long you've been in it, it would be interesting and useful, but obviously, I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. With that in mind, anyone who'd prefer to take this out of a public forum can also e-mail me at kaufmaa@tcd.ie . You can also comment anonymously, though I'd appreciate it if you could provide me with some sort of alias in case I choose to quote you.

With that in mind: unless you tell me otherwise, any quotes I pull will be attributed to your LJ username (minus the LJ distinction, of course.) So if I were quoting myself, I might say: "'I'm in it for the porn, baby!' said one writer, trinityofone. 'Porn, porn, porn--that's what the internet is for!'"* If you'd prefer to be quoted under a different name, just tell me what it is. But don't get too panicky: this paper will most likely be seen by no one other than Dr. Jones, Prof. McCarthy, Prof. Silver, and myself. And we're all very discreet. ;-)

Finally, PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD. Which is to say: the red light is on, I have multiple varieties of condoms (some are flavored!), but right now I'm all by my lonesome, so I need you to pimp, pimp, pimp. Also, if anyone knows of any communities where I might be able to rustle up some participants, that'd be fab.

So in conclusion: let me know if you have any questions, and thanks in advance!

*Actually, I read slash for the articles. 'The' is a good one; so's 'a.' ...And after that display of dorkery, we're all going to pretend this footnote doesn't exist.

Comments

[mirabile-dictu.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking about your questions since I read cimorene111's post about them. I don't think I can contribute much, but they're interesting, and I would like to support your research.

(I must say, I find specious the idea of a connection between slash fiction and slashers; it's just a coincidence in the terms used. I'm glad you're doing this paper so you can educate your instructor.)

1. What do you get out of a) fanfiction in general and/or genfic; b) romantic, 'shipper fic, regardless of the genders and sexualities of the participants; and c) slash fic, especially m/m slash?

I read all the time; fanfiction is just another source of reading material. However, it gives me something I can't find elsewhere, and that's slash. Rarely do I read anything except slash. I recently came to the conclusion that slash does two things for me: gives me more of what I want, and gives me better than what the source offers. In slash fanfiction, I not only get more SGA, I also get better, because I can find John/Rodney stories.

2. How does what you derive from all of these things differ a) from each other; b) from the source material; and c) from real life?

I don't think there is much difference for me, because what I desire is so specific. I want slash; I want romance; I want great characterization that, despite the homoeroticism, is extrapolated from the source material; I want long plotty stories that make me think, teach me something, and grab my heart and won't let go. Rarely, I find the source material so perfect that I don't want to read fanfiction (e.g., Firefly).

I read and write RPS, so I suppose you could say I'm looking for the same qualities in real life (even though I genuinely know RPS isn't RL). But if I have on occasion slashed RL people in my head. I think I'm a slasher first, before any other interest.

3. If you're a writer as well as a reader, do you derive a different sort of experience from writing than from reading? How do the two compare? (If you're a vidder or artist, please feel free to talk about that, too.)

Again, very little difference. I write what I want to read. If someone else enjoys reading my fantasies, I'm absolutely thrilled and delighted, but, selfishly, it's mostly for me. I can't articulate the pleasure I derive from daydreaming, writing, and reading these stories. I genuinely feel slash structures my existence -- it's how I see the world, understand relationships, make sense of people.

4. What were your primary reasons for entering fandom--specifically slash fandom? What are your reasons for staying?

I stumbled into fandom in the early 90s. I was stunned to discover slash. Until that moment, I thought I was a freak -- I'd never heard of another person who obsessed over m/m the way I did. The internet is a blessing for many reasons, but especially for letting me know there is literally a world full of women like me. That still amazes and delights me. I can't imagine not being in a slash fandom.

5. Why do you think slash fandom and slash fiction are the phenomena that they are?

Honestly, I have no idea. Sometimes I wonder if it's because there are so many women like me, who thought they were freaks and then discovered a community of like-minded people. I came for the fanfiction, and have stayed for the community, which -- bless them -- produces more fanfiction, which draws in more writers and readers. It's just wonderful.

I hope you'll share your results when you've written this paper. Thank you for asking these questions; I've enjoyed reading other people's responses.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Thank you for responding to this--your answers were completely interesting, and a lot of them resonated very strongly with me. Among other things:

I find specious the idea of a connection between slash fiction and slashers; it's just a coincidence in the terms used.

God, me too. I am so sick of academic articles that make a big deal out of that. If it ever meant anything above the most base coincidence, that meaning has long since been diluted down to nothing: I call slash slash 'cause that's what it was called when I got here, seven years ago. I know people who just joined fandom this year, and they also are calling it slash, not because the term expresses the secret inner violence of their souls, but because that's what it's called. Sheesh.

Rarely, I find the source material so perfect that I don't want to read fanfiction (e.g., Firefly).

Hey, me, too! I'm still somewhat stunned about that. And speaking of which, cimorene111 linked me to your "Why Read? Why Write?" essay--would you mind if I quoted from that, too? I'd cite it separately, as an essay, not as part of these interview thingys. And yes, I am going to post the paper when it's done--and hopefully, my professors' responses, when they're done. *g*

[mirabile-dictu.livejournal.com]

I would be honored if you quoted from that post! And I look forward to reading your paper, and your professors' responses.

Thank you!