Rite of Passage
Nov. 30th, 2005 06:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trinityofoneThere comes a time in every young fangirl's life when, should she still reside amongst the chalk-dust lecture halls and book-dust libraries of academia, she must pick up the mantle and write an academic paper about slash. And for me, brothers and sisters (mostly sisters), that time has come.
Basically what happened was this: my popular literature class had a guest lecturer, Prof. McCarthy. She was giving a talk on Poppy Z. Brite's Exquisite Corpse (which, embarrassingly, I still have not been able to find), and in doing so, she talked about serial killers in both history and literature, and provided us with some great quotes. (One of my favorites, Paul Anthony Woods on Norman Bates: "He registers in our hearts as one of the most loveable sickos of pop culture.") Then she showed us selected postings from the Yahoo!Group JeffreyDahmerClub. If you click on the link, which I do NOT recommend, you'll see some of what she showed us: people (mostly women) talking about how much they love Jeffrey Dahmer, how they feel he was just misunderstood, how hot he is--all very serious and earnest. I was, needless to say, disturbed by this. Especially because one of the first thoughts that entered my mind was: "Jesus, these people must've been on Yahoo!Groups talking about their love for a serial killer at the exact same time I, fresh-faced and 17, was there posting about my love for Spike."
...At which point I would like to take a time out and say: Fuck you, David Fury.
But ANYWAY...just then Prof. McCarthy said something about how both serial killers and their fans exhibit an "obsessive and insatiable" need for more, more, more. And then she brought up slash.
Slash readers and writers--the term was of course defined for the giggling audience, with the inevitable Kirk/Spock example and an increase in giggling--exhibit, said McCarthy, the same need for more of their chosen type of media: more story, more sexual tension, more sex. Brite, not a slash fan, has bemoaned the fact that while "real" writers will work hard to "create real, complex, multidimensional characters with lives that need no 'improvement' by the peanut gallery, all some readers really want is for [the characters] to fall into a huge rutting jizz-drenched scrum" (Fan Nine from Outer Space). Prof. McCarthy didn't specifically disagree with Brite; mostly she just drew the obvious connections between sex and violence, making, IMO, rather too big a deal about the possible violent connotations of the word "slash." I really wasn't quite sure what she was trying to say, actually; but more than that, I was disturbed that my mind had made the leap from Jeffrey Dahmer fandom to our fandom first, and without being prompted.
After the lecture, there was a question and answer period. I debated whether I should say anything--I didn't want to "out" myself to a room full of strangers, and I wasn't sure how to neutrally phrase a question, or even what I wanted to ask. Finally, I raised my hand and mumbled something about how, while I definitely saw the connection between obsessive-compulsive, insatiable behaviour and slash fandom, didn't Prof. McCarthy think it might have less to do with violence, and more to do with (here I stumbled, wanting to say--I think--love) romance novels? You know, the type little old ladies check out from the library, the type with Fabio on the cover? Prof. McCarthy conceded that this might be so. Class dismissed.
I left unsatisfied. I thought about just going home and writing a bitchy, dismissive post about how we are NOT like that. Yet I was still bothered by the fact that my brain had made the connection first. And what are we, if not obsessive and insatiable? What does that make us--serial readers? Serial writers? Why do we do what we do?
So I went to Dr. Jones' office hours and outed myself as a slasher.
The meeting began less than promisingly, as he greeted me by saying, "Aren't you the student that asked the question about Fabio?" I admitted that I was, and that yes, I am from Berkeley, and that yes (feeling quite the stereotype), I would like to talk more about the gay porn, please.
Dr. Jones said he was "fascinated by this phenomenon known as 'slash.'" I said I was quite an expert, but that the lecture that morning had made me think about why we did it--why I did it. One of our class' essay titles is "Write an essay on why you think formulaic writing is so popular"--could I, I inquired, write an essay about slash?
His response was enthusiastic. Very enthusiastic. Did I mention that I rather adore him? I do, I do.
Anyway, he introduced me to Prof. Silver, whom he called "the university's resident slash expert." Unfortunately, this is not an actual tenured position--too bad, 'cause nice as Prof. Silver was, I could totally have beaten her out for it. She really didn't know much about internet fandom at all, but she gave me a great book--Constance Penley's NASA/TREK, which I highly recommend, despite the fact that it's old and thus deals mostly with 'zines--and even better, a lot of encouragement. In return, I gave her links to some classic fandom stuff--she'd never heard of the Very Secret Diaries! *gasp*--and, when pressed, some of my own stories. (Yikes!) When I come out, I come out hard--bringing the clothes, the hangers, and the dust bunnies with me.
So now--
The short version: I now have just over a weak to write a paper about Why We Slash. I think I can pull together the more academic, sociological sources, but for the rest, I need your help. I want this paper to be different from other writings about slash and fandom: I'm not going to distance myself; rather, I'm going to get permission to write in the first person and include myself in the analysis. I don't want to be yet another judgmental outsider looking in (or down) on "this phenomenon known as slash"; I'm a part of it, I'm not going to deny it, and that gives me a unique perspective.
But I need other people's perspectives--other people's insights--too. So, fellow fandom folks: if you could take the time to answer the following questions, I would be deeply appreciative.
1. What do you get out of a) fanfiction in general and/or genfic; b) romantic, 'shipper fic, regardless of the genders and sexualities of the participants; and c) slash fic, especially m/m slash?
2. How does what you derive from all of these things differ a) from each other; b) from the source material; and c) from real life?
3. If you're a writer as well as a reader, do you derive a different sort of experience from writing than from reading? How do the two compare? (If you're a vidder or artist, please feel free to talk about that, too.)
4. What were your primary reasons for entering fandom--specifically slash fandom? What are your reasons for staying?
5. Why do you think slash fandom and slash fiction are the phenomena that they are?
If you want to provide info about age, gender, sexual preference, when you entered fandom or how long you've been in it, it would be interesting and useful, but obviously, I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. With that in mind, anyone who'd prefer to take this out of a public forum can also e-mail me at kaufmaa@tcd.ie . You can also comment anonymously, though I'd appreciate it if you could provide me with some sort of alias in case I choose to quote you.
With that in mind: unless you tell me otherwise, any quotes I pull will be attributed to your LJ username (minus the LJ distinction, of course.) So if I were quoting myself, I might say: "'I'm in it for the porn, baby!' said one writer, trinityofone. 'Porn, porn, porn--that's what the internet is for!'"* If you'd prefer to be quoted under a different name, just tell me what it is. But don't get too panicky: this paper will most likely be seen by no one other than Dr. Jones, Prof. McCarthy, Prof. Silver, and myself. And we're all very discreet. ;-)
Finally, PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD. Which is to say: the red light is on, I have multiple varieties of condoms (some are flavored!), but right now I'm all by my lonesome, so I need you to pimp, pimp, pimp. Also, if anyone knows of any communities where I might be able to rustle up some participants, that'd be fab.
So in conclusion: let me know if you have any questions, and thanks in advance!
*Actually, I read slash for the articles. 'The' is a good one; so's 'a.' ...And after that display of dorkery, we're all going to pretend this footnote doesn't exist.
Basically what happened was this: my popular literature class had a guest lecturer, Prof. McCarthy. She was giving a talk on Poppy Z. Brite's Exquisite Corpse (which, embarrassingly, I still have not been able to find), and in doing so, she talked about serial killers in both history and literature, and provided us with some great quotes. (One of my favorites, Paul Anthony Woods on Norman Bates: "He registers in our hearts as one of the most loveable sickos of pop culture.") Then she showed us selected postings from the Yahoo!Group JeffreyDahmerClub. If you click on the link, which I do NOT recommend, you'll see some of what she showed us: people (mostly women) talking about how much they love Jeffrey Dahmer, how they feel he was just misunderstood, how hot he is--all very serious and earnest. I was, needless to say, disturbed by this. Especially because one of the first thoughts that entered my mind was: "Jesus, these people must've been on Yahoo!Groups talking about their love for a serial killer at the exact same time I, fresh-faced and 17, was there posting about my love for Spike."
...At which point I would like to take a time out and say: Fuck you, David Fury.
But ANYWAY...just then Prof. McCarthy said something about how both serial killers and their fans exhibit an "obsessive and insatiable" need for more, more, more. And then she brought up slash.
Slash readers and writers--the term was of course defined for the giggling audience, with the inevitable Kirk/Spock example and an increase in giggling--exhibit, said McCarthy, the same need for more of their chosen type of media: more story, more sexual tension, more sex. Brite, not a slash fan, has bemoaned the fact that while "real" writers will work hard to "create real, complex, multidimensional characters with lives that need no 'improvement' by the peanut gallery, all some readers really want is for [the characters] to fall into a huge rutting jizz-drenched scrum" (Fan Nine from Outer Space). Prof. McCarthy didn't specifically disagree with Brite; mostly she just drew the obvious connections between sex and violence, making, IMO, rather too big a deal about the possible violent connotations of the word "slash." I really wasn't quite sure what she was trying to say, actually; but more than that, I was disturbed that my mind had made the leap from Jeffrey Dahmer fandom to our fandom first, and without being prompted.
After the lecture, there was a question and answer period. I debated whether I should say anything--I didn't want to "out" myself to a room full of strangers, and I wasn't sure how to neutrally phrase a question, or even what I wanted to ask. Finally, I raised my hand and mumbled something about how, while I definitely saw the connection between obsessive-compulsive, insatiable behaviour and slash fandom, didn't Prof. McCarthy think it might have less to do with violence, and more to do with (here I stumbled, wanting to say--I think--love) romance novels? You know, the type little old ladies check out from the library, the type with Fabio on the cover? Prof. McCarthy conceded that this might be so. Class dismissed.
I left unsatisfied. I thought about just going home and writing a bitchy, dismissive post about how we are NOT like that. Yet I was still bothered by the fact that my brain had made the connection first. And what are we, if not obsessive and insatiable? What does that make us--serial readers? Serial writers? Why do we do what we do?
So I went to Dr. Jones' office hours and outed myself as a slasher.
The meeting began less than promisingly, as he greeted me by saying, "Aren't you the student that asked the question about Fabio?" I admitted that I was, and that yes, I am from Berkeley, and that yes (feeling quite the stereotype), I would like to talk more about the gay porn, please.
Dr. Jones said he was "fascinated by this phenomenon known as 'slash.'" I said I was quite an expert, but that the lecture that morning had made me think about why we did it--why I did it. One of our class' essay titles is "Write an essay on why you think formulaic writing is so popular"--could I, I inquired, write an essay about slash?
His response was enthusiastic. Very enthusiastic. Did I mention that I rather adore him? I do, I do.
Anyway, he introduced me to Prof. Silver, whom he called "the university's resident slash expert." Unfortunately, this is not an actual tenured position--too bad, 'cause nice as Prof. Silver was, I could totally have beaten her out for it. She really didn't know much about internet fandom at all, but she gave me a great book--Constance Penley's NASA/TREK, which I highly recommend, despite the fact that it's old and thus deals mostly with 'zines--and even better, a lot of encouragement. In return, I gave her links to some classic fandom stuff--she'd never heard of the Very Secret Diaries! *gasp*--and, when pressed, some of my own stories. (Yikes!) When I come out, I come out hard--bringing the clothes, the hangers, and the dust bunnies with me.
So now--
The short version: I now have just over a weak to write a paper about Why We Slash. I think I can pull together the more academic, sociological sources, but for the rest, I need your help. I want this paper to be different from other writings about slash and fandom: I'm not going to distance myself; rather, I'm going to get permission to write in the first person and include myself in the analysis. I don't want to be yet another judgmental outsider looking in (or down) on "this phenomenon known as slash"; I'm a part of it, I'm not going to deny it, and that gives me a unique perspective.
But I need other people's perspectives--other people's insights--too. So, fellow fandom folks: if you could take the time to answer the following questions, I would be deeply appreciative.
1. What do you get out of a) fanfiction in general and/or genfic; b) romantic, 'shipper fic, regardless of the genders and sexualities of the participants; and c) slash fic, especially m/m slash?
2. How does what you derive from all of these things differ a) from each other; b) from the source material; and c) from real life?
3. If you're a writer as well as a reader, do you derive a different sort of experience from writing than from reading? How do the two compare? (If you're a vidder or artist, please feel free to talk about that, too.)
4. What were your primary reasons for entering fandom--specifically slash fandom? What are your reasons for staying?
5. Why do you think slash fandom and slash fiction are the phenomena that they are?
If you want to provide info about age, gender, sexual preference, when you entered fandom or how long you've been in it, it would be interesting and useful, but obviously, I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. With that in mind, anyone who'd prefer to take this out of a public forum can also e-mail me at kaufmaa@tcd.ie . You can also comment anonymously, though I'd appreciate it if you could provide me with some sort of alias in case I choose to quote you.
With that in mind: unless you tell me otherwise, any quotes I pull will be attributed to your LJ username (minus the LJ distinction, of course.) So if I were quoting myself, I might say: "'I'm in it for the porn, baby!' said one writer, trinityofone. 'Porn, porn, porn--that's what the internet is for!'"* If you'd prefer to be quoted under a different name, just tell me what it is. But don't get too panicky: this paper will most likely be seen by no one other than Dr. Jones, Prof. McCarthy, Prof. Silver, and myself. And we're all very discreet. ;-)
Finally, PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD. Which is to say: the red light is on, I have multiple varieties of condoms (some are flavored!), but right now I'm all by my lonesome, so I need you to pimp, pimp, pimp. Also, if anyone knows of any communities where I might be able to rustle up some participants, that'd be fab.
So in conclusion: let me know if you have any questions, and thanks in advance!
*Actually, I read slash for the articles. 'The' is a good one; so's 'a.' ...And after that display of dorkery, we're all going to pretend this footnote doesn't exist.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-03 03:19 am (UTC)Now I'm into Stargate Atlantis and I'm experiencing a fandom that's a roiling mass of constantly changing canon, fanon and assumptions. Nobody knows much of anything of John Sheppard's background, so everyone is free to create that for themselves, pretty much secure in the knowledge that whatever they come up with is going to be Jossed.
I'm reading episode reviews and meta and opinions and episode tag fics that 'fix' whatever the show screwed up in the latest episode - something I never got to do in Buffy because I was years too late for all of that. I get to join in all the 'OMG! I can't believe they did that!' chatter about how Rodney gave us the 'Oh no! My boyfriend's dead!' face again.
Now I can watch the 'source material' and then go and read people's reactions and their fic responses and I have fic running practically 24/7 in my head, most of which will never be seen because I either don't have the time to write it down or it's too ephemeral and vague to work in textual form. The episodes provide impetus for the fic - new canon, new hints of John/Rodney closeness, new worlds, literally, where they might come together/be dragged apart/be hurt or need to comfort.
The show provides 45 minutes of entertainment and a few choice frames that hint of darker depths to our characters if we're lucky, and the fanfic gets to plumb those depths, make the characters work through the consequences of blowing up 5/6ths of a solar system and losing the trust of your best friend and earning it back. The fanfiction lets us decompress those 5 whole minutes Rodney was suffering withdrawal symptoms while coming off the Wraith enzyme and make him fight the hunger in his veins for one more hit, one more chance to feel that immensely satisfying godlike buzz, even though he knows how bad the stuff is for him.
Fanfic can go deeper, darker and for longer because it's not limited to 45 minutes of prime time with a dozen people waiting to jump on every 'fuck' or gory death. We do what the shows' writers only wish they could do with their characters. ;)
2c. Real life for me means a small farming town. The chances of finding a like-minded individual with whom I can talk slash are, at best, infinitesimal. I make no secret of what my 'hobby' is, but as yet I've not had anyone turn around and express a similar interest. If I want to talk slash, be it fandom-based or just sharing the enjoyment of seeing two pretty boys going at each other, the internet is the only real forum.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-03 03:20 am (UTC)I read fanfic to see what adventures and emotional rollercoasters others can send my boys on. I write fanfic to share the adventures and emotional rollercoasters my boys go on inside my head, and also for the reward of knowing that others are reading and following along at every turn.
Feedback is a bonus, but if the only way I knew that I was being read was the counter at the bottom of the page on my website, that would be enough. People are reading and enjoying my work, and that amazes me.
4. I stumbled onto slash fiction in the Buffy fandom by accident - an LJ search brought on by boredom. I fell in love with the Spike/Xander pairing immediately. I truly believe that if I'd started reading another pairing I would never have entered fandom and my life would be much emptier. I have made so many friends, both online and in real life, as a direct result of getting involved in slash fandom.
I stay because there are so many stories still to be told and read and shared with fellow fen. And because now I'm in a new fandom, the canon just keeps on coming! And also because, dammit, I have fans! (*is grinning inanely*)
5. So, I guess you left the hardest question till last, huh? Where to start?
What makes slash work for me is getting to see m/m intimacy. Not just the sex (though, yeah, that can be damn fine), but also the emotional intimacy. In slash we get to see men wrestle with their emotions, needs and desires. We get to see what they're thinking/feeling/repressing and then we get to see them trying to connect with another man who's probably going through exactly the same emotional wringer.
And it really doesn't matter that it's written (mostly) by women for (mostly) women and bears no resemblance to 'real gay life'. It fills a need that women have only recently been allowed to acknowledge.
For centuries (millenia?) it has been accepted that men will enjoy watching two women having sex. Take a look at practically any 'straight' porn and you will find the (almost) obligatory lesbian scene(s) - because the porn is produced with for a straight male target audience.
Women, in general, are more stimulated by the written word, the potential of the words. They have the imaginations to paint their own porn on the backs of their eyelids where as men tend to need the actual visual images to get off.
Women are more cerebral about it - for us, the greatest sex organ is the brain. So, while we might enjoy watching some of the less atrocious gay porn that's out there on the web, we get more fulfilment from reading not just the physical descriptions of guys getting off with guys, but also reading about their emotional turmoil and their insecurities and worries, about how they finally make that connection and become intimate.
PWPs have their place, of course, because sometimes you just want a quick, hot fuck, but then that's true of life too. Sometimes you want to shag, sometimes you want to make love.
To sum up (finally!), I think slash is the phenomena it is because women are finally getting to stand up and say 'Seeing two guys get off together is hot!', just as men have been saying since time immemorial, 'Lesbians? Can I watch?'
Phew, I'm done. :D
(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-04 12:37 pm (UTC)And I got feedback. Feedback from writers I'd been reading now for months and worshipping slavishly. These gods of my new universe were suddenly emailing me to tell me how much they'd enjoyed my work. That rocked my world.
...is a really important point that no one's really made yet, which as a bonus, you make really well. ;-) (Second bonus: I know utterly what you're talking about--I've gotten, for example, three pieces of feedback (yes, I have a mental tally! *shame*) from
Well-written slash turns me on, even the non-graphic stuff. When John drags his thumb over that crooked twist in Rodney's lips, my knees go weak.
Uh, my knees just went weak a little. *vbg* This is the best research ever.