Quick! Beta help?

[trinityofone]

This morning I had a last-minute crisis of faith about my undermistletoe story; I didn't like--didn't quite believe--the version I had written, so I, uh, re-wrote it. I have to post it in a couple of hours; would anybody be willing to quickly look over both versions of the story and tell me whether or not I'm being crazy? I'd really appreciate it.

Also, can somebody tell me: according to Sheppard's "official" bio, was his father supposed to be a general or a colonel?

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

No mention of his father except for that photograph. I didn't read the semi-official story they commissioned and printed about his past.

I'm here if you need a reader.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

That would be great, thanks! Are you _inbetween_ @ livejournal.com, or should I send it to another address?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

I am for the next two months, yep :)

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Okay, give me just another second and I'll send them over. Thank you!

[slodwick.livejournal.com]

According to SciFi.com's bio, Sheppard is the "son of a respected Cold War colonel".

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Thank you; I couldn't seem to find that, for some reason. And yay: colonel was what I wanted to hear...

[smittywing.livejournal.com]

According to the bio on scifi.com, his father was a "respected Cold War colonel" though they don't specify which branch of the military. (I don't know if I imagined or if they changed it, but I thought that at one time it said "famous" Cold War colonel and I went around asking people if they actually remembered any colonels from the Cold War and...most people didn't remember the Cold War so it sort of failed as an experiment.)

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Thanks; I don't know why I couldn't find that. And "respected" is such an oddly ambiguous word--implying that doubt may have been cast, and is subsequently being corrected. Or at least, it does if you over-analyze things like I tend to do...

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

If you need another pair of eyes, feel free to hit me at kageygirl @ gmail.com. (Yay for my boss having a flex day. *eg*)

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

That would be great, thanks. I'll send it over in just a minute.

[claire.livejournal.com]

I liked the one you posted. It made me sad and happy at the same time. I'm just curious if you're ever going to post the other version? I'd like to read it too.