SGA Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

Comments

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

It was a dark and stormy night--well, obviously it was dark, it being both night and stormy--but for the locale where Atlantis sprawled across the sea, spilling light into the ocean like a leaking glow-stick; except, of course, that Atlantis was much less environmentally toxic, if one didn't count all the Wraith dart wreckage sunk around the city, and for all Rodney knew, alien fish were making little artificial reefs out of the ships and feeding happily on the corpses, and wow, that was a picture he never wanted to conjure up again, so he put it out of his mind and started over.

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, come one--the "dark and stormy night" rehash has to be worth a few negative points, at least. *g*

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

I like the "leaking glow stick" but yeah...that's actually kind of cool. (And in character!)

Even when you're bad, you're good!

[roaringmice.livejournal.com]

But the leaky glowstick!

[roaringmice.livejournal.com]

You know what? You're right. :grins:

[cedara]

If I looked correctly, it's ONE sentence. Anything that long that is one sentence can't be good.

[roaringmice.livejournal.com]

Bing Bing Bing...a real winner, that one!

Oy, I groan. The "...and started over" bit really got me laughing.

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

Yay!

*giggles* Someone had to. Tradition, you know.

[liviapenn.livejournal.com]

I don't know, I agree with Cecelia-- somehow, I think Rodney's internal monologue is a lot like this! ;)

Might be hard to keep it up for a whole story, though.

[rosewildeirish.livejournal.com]

...

I think your sentence made me dizzy. *takes dramamine*

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

YAY.

[stereowire.livejournal.com]

... But I would totally read a story that started like that.

[zabbers.livejournal.com]

Me too!