trinityofone: (Default)
[personal profile] trinityofone
[livejournal.com profile] cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

(no subject)

Date: 2006-07-12 04:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sheafrotherdon.livejournal.com
"Oh Dr Phil," said John, bottom lip trembling as he player with his the elastic of his lover's days-of-the-week-underpants, " - you know I'd never leave you for Rodney, not after he laughed at the size of my pee-pee."

(no subject)

Date: 2006-07-12 04:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sheafrotherdon.livejournal.com
uh - PLAYED. yes. quite.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-07-12 04:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityofone.livejournal.com
OMG I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO TRAUMATIZED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

That is a compliment. I think.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-07-12 05:03 pm (UTC)
siria: (firefly - the place i'm headed)
From: [personal profile] siria
You, ma'am, are made of awesome. A horrifying brand of awesome maybe, but awesome nonetheless.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-07-13 02:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] barely-bean.livejournal.com
Wow. this is just wrong. *goes to scrub brain out with bleach*

(no subject)

Date: 2006-07-13 10:06 pm (UTC)
ext_43999: (entire armies)
From: [identity profile] meivocis.livejournal.com
JOHN SAID PEE-PEE!

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