SGA Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

Comments

[roaringmice.livejournal.com]

Rodney rubbed his throbbing manhood, his eyes raking over the smorgasbord that was John's body; all long, lythe legs; dark, curly, hirsuit chest; nubs alert in anticipation of what he, Rodney, scientist and racconteur extraordinaire would do with his miraculous tongue once he'd finished explaining the importance of Canadian theatre ("re" because he was Canadian, eh?) to the New York stage, as if John cared, the bloody philistine.

[yin-again.livejournal.com]

OMG - I'm laughing so hard I'm wheezing!

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

as if John cared, the bloody philistine

*adds to list of phrases she wants on a shirt*

[cincodemaygirl.livejournal.com]

*much cackling and glee*

[no-detective.livejournal.com]

Extra points for using "smorgasbord" in that sentence!