SGA Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

Comments

[siria]

Including the part where John diagnoses their issues using the skills he learned in McMurdo when he was very, very bored and the only programme on the base tv channel was Dr Phil?

(He thinks it has helped him become more self-actualised as a person; he's just not entirely sure what that means)

[fairestcat]

*dies*

What's scary is I can see that. Not the diagnosing their issues part, the bored watching Dr Phil part, so terribly horribly plausible.

[siria]

Actually, what's scary is the fact that Cate and I have already written John and Rodney do the Dr Phil show. Though hers kicks much more ass than mine; literally.

[d-copper.livejournal.com]

Hurray to Dr Phil fanfic!

[elaran.livejournal.com]

*dies a little on the inside*