SGA Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

Comments

I have returned to commit more horrors.

[cincodemaygirl.livejournal.com]

Everyone had said sympathetically promised, while they mopped Elizabeth's lily-white brow as she lay on her deathbed, that obviously they would carry out whatever her desperate last wish might be; but it is no exxageration to say that no one was expecting the Spanish inquisition she would demand that they make Kavanagh king of Atlantis.

*

"But John," screeched Steve the Wraith tragically, "I do not wish to eat you-- I wish only to LOVE you!"

*

It was drizzly and cold on Wednesday, the fifth of September, when Rodney McKay, Esquire addressed his gathered group of the finest minds in two galaxies: "Our next, most hallowed duty," he implored them, picking his teeth with a headset mic, "concerns how we will transform Wraith hiveships into giant blocks of Muenster cheese."

p.s. This may be what is known as the bad crack, that I am on. Whoopsie.

Re: I have returned to commit more horrors.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

No, it is the GOOD crack--a very fine vintage! These are all awesome.