SGA Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

Comments

[cerri44.livejournal.com]

a) "This is the story of how Kavanaugh saved Atlantis."

b) in lieu of I had a farm in Africa.... "I had a room in Atlantis." Lizzy being the narrator here of course...

c) "My people are a strong people." (I like Teyla... but without the thought of her, speaking about her boobs I wouldn't get through any sentence starting or ending with 'my people 'ever again)

[dancinguniverse.livejournal.com]

I love the boob/people trick.

Isn't it fun to look for the best instances of it? My personal favorite so far is Elizabeth in s1 saying, "I'd like to get to know Teyla's people a little better."