SGA Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

Comments

[rokeon.livejournal.com]

No one else knew how often Rodney, surfing the city's intranet while alone in his quarters at night, was reduced to tears by the cruel words he read about himself on atlantis_wank.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

OMG YES.

How is that simultaneously so scary and yet so very, very awesome?

[rokeon.livejournal.com]

I think it's something to do with the inevitable suicide attempt, the one that follows a particularly harsh bit of mockery from Kavanaugh. Since Rodney secretly admires him and craves his approval. Someone (probably Elizabeth) would use the phrase "cry for help."

[wychwood]

*laughs self almost sick*