SGA Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

Comments

[riva-today.livejournal.com]

*cracks knuckles* Here goes...

1
Moans echoed through the corridors, leaving no alcove unfilled, as the Marines clumped together, wild-eyed and nervously checking and re-checking their weapons. Lorne, back against the wall, thought it made sense in a warped way--tens of thousands of years of evolution and who knows what kind of tinkering--but he still was freaked out by all of the Athosians going into heat within the span of a few days.

2
Snap. All of the men in the crowded infirmary shuddered, like a wave flowing from one side of the room to the other.
"Oh good lord!" Carson exclaimed, dropping the box of gloves back onto the counter. "You can't all possibly be that kinky!"

[stellahobbit.livejournal.com]

::dies at #2::

Oh yes, yes they can.

[downloadable08.livejournal.com]

My nephew was enjoying a nice, leisurely snooze in my lap until I fell out of my chair, I was laughing so hard. Number 2 so needs to be written.