SGA Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

Comments

[ellex42.livejournal.com]

Frighteningly, this is an actual sentence from a fic I'm writing:

Elizabeth, trying to figure out how to explain to Jeannie McKay the circumstances surrounding her brother's death, gave up on the story that involved Rodney dying heroically while saving a bunch of kids and decided to tell the truth: "Your brother was rendered brain-dead by a semi-corporeal alien nymphomaniac who had been molesting both your brother and the man who was his lover in shared hallucinations, if not in actual, physical fact."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_lemon_lyman_/]

see, that's not frightening, it's fantastic! I keep wanting to read the fic, and it doesn't exist. Yours I (hopefully?) shall be able to track down and finish, and for that, you win at life.

[ellex42.livejournal.com]

Oh, it exists, all right. That was a line from the last chapter of The Glowing of the Shrew (http://ellex42.livejournal.com/52212.html). The first 5 chapters are on my LJ and the last chapter is, at long last, in sight. I just need some free time in which to finish writing it.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_lemon_lyman_/]

well now I have something to help pass the time till I can go in to work at 6. If I fall asleep again like yesterday, I'll miss work again and end up fired. You are officially my new hero.

[dracostella.livejournal.com]

That is a great opening line!

[ellex42.livejournal.com]

No I haven't. That's just the beginning of the ending.