SGA Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

Comments

[veracity]

Oh god, I have to try this:

Hot and horny, John was ready to get to down to business with his boytoy Rodney, until his lover uttered the phrase "did you know Kavenugh made a porn video during that camcorder time"; suddenly, he felt violently ill, and a just a little turned on more too.


(And let me just say, my brain is very, very scared of itself now. I think I know why after realizing what my brain wrote.)

[melagan.livejournal.com]

I am giggling and going ewwww at the same time.

[veracity]

You know, I was just gagging at myself. I think I played the squick games with my friends far too often to write that. The worst part is that my brain continued on when I got offline and started writing more. I think I'll be over there *waves vaguely under the covers* fearing for my sanity.