SGA Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

Comments

[ilexa.livejournal.com]

Rodney McKay moaned like a dying scraw'ju - which was what the indigenous Athosians called the cow-like creatures that lived under the bubbling waterfalls on the sprawling mainland - as Atlantis (or John's sentient girlfriend, the physicist though derisively), who must have been reading his thoughts again, suddenly created a mirrored reflective surface out of thin air on his ceiling above his bed, where he lay sprawled with a pint of chocolate chip ice cream that he pilfered from Lt. Cadman and Katie Brown's Girls Poker Night just yesterday, and turned, disgusted at his huge bloated scientist's body that would never earn him the love of John "Captain Kirk Styles My Hair" Shepard, who he had been in love with since he first clapped eyes on him back in Antartica when he sat in the Chair of the Ancients and brought it - and Rodney's heart - to evenescent life.

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

LOL! Sling those subordinate clauses, baby!

[ilexa.livejournal.com]

Never let it be said that I can't mangle the English language in wildly bizarre ways.

[ceitie.livejournal.com]

Oooh, ice cream! I'm seriously impressed that that's one sentence. *g*

[ilexa.livejournal.com]

I'm really quite proud of that. I wanted to see how long I could make it.