SGA Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

Comments

[claire.livejournal.com]

"It's not that I don't love you," said the taller man to the scientist, "I love you more than I could ever imagine loving anyone! I will love you forever! I will love you until the end of time! It's just that I can't imagine putting my pee-pee in where your poo-poo comes out!"

[stellahobbit.livejournal.com]

::dies a thousand deaths::

[siria]

Note to self: do not read any more of girl_clone's comments while drinking hot tea, for your sinuses will never be the same.

[melagan.livejournal.com]

EeeeeK!

[wychwood]

*dies of horrified laughter*

[basingstoke.livejournal.com]

o_0 Bravo.

"The taller man" has me mentally consulting group shots to see if Sheppard is actually taller than McKay, or if this is a Ronon/McKay story. Or a Ronon/Kavanagh story.

Though I suppose Ronon would be "the tallest man."