SGA Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

Comments

[lallybroch.livejournal.com]

Okay, I want to play too!

“I am a scientist you know not a superhero and Kavanaugh that better not be citrus because I am deathly allergic-Jesus Christ, it would be nice if anyone could remember how important it is for me to be protected since I am the smartest person in all of Atlantis and your all stupid idiots who should have been shot as soon as you were born!” Rodney screamed at the Colonel, who was laying slouched on top of Rodney's science lab table, lifting Ancient weights that were glowing with one hand and using his eyebrow and mouth to smirk attractively.

[hth-the-first.livejournal.com]

I think I've read that story....

[lallybroch.livejournal.com]

Baby, we've *all* read that story...

[wychwood]

*snorfles*

It's the "lifting Ancient weights" that really got me...

[lallybroch.livejournal.com]

He's very manly, you see. And strong.