SGA Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

Comments

2 more

[daydreamer.livejournal.com]

"I don't understand how your team gets itself into these situations," Elizabeth sighed, looking down at the four traffic lights on her desk - a skinny one with an unruly tuft of wires coming out of the top, a somewhat portly one glowing grumpily red at her glass of orange juice, a really big one with knives tucked into all of its crevices, and dark yellow one with its outer casing cut away provocatively around the middle.



Also, couldn't resist the obvious:

"I'm back!" Chaya said.

Re: 2 more

[pandarus.livejournal.com]

::spits tea on keyboard::

OMG. So perfect.

Re: 2 more

[lizamanynames.livejournal.com]

That first one is so something that could really only happen in this fandom - so much so that I'm wondering if somebody hasn't written that story yet (in which skinny-with-unruly-tuft-of-wires and somewhat-portly-that-glows-menecingly-at-citrus end up having traffic-light sex, naturally. I mean, dude. Gingerbread.)