SGA Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

Comments

[symath.livejournal.com]

This is an awesome idea! I'm not sure if mine even registers amidst the oceans of badness around here, but I have one nonetheless :)


The useless Epipen fell from John's suddenly nerveless fingers to shatter and splash sparkling droplets of epinephrine, like the crystal tears running down past Rodney's cyanotic lips, onto the callous stones of the sun-drenched meadow.

[melagan.livejournal.com]

cyanotic lips

You Rule *g*

[symath.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I will admit though, I had to check that there was an adjectival form for cyanosis.

[furina-1975.livejournal.com]

Crystal Tears. Nice. Very, very nice.

[symath.livejournal.com]

Or even better:


As the useless Epipen fell from John's suddenly nerveless fingers to shatter and splash sparkling droplets of epinephrine, like the crystal tears running down past Rodney's cyanotic lips, onto the callous stones of the sun-drenched meadow, he thought with embarressed fervour, "blue really does bring out Rodney's eyes."