SGA Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

Comments

[pollitt.livejournal.com]

United States Air Force Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, whose beauty and devil-may-care attitude had made everyone he met fall madly in love with him or else hate his guts, looked into the light sapphire blue eyes of his best friend in the whole wide world (or universe, since, yeah, Pegasus) and raise a trembling finger to touch the crooked--we're talking Picasso level crooked--mouth as he tried to find the words that wouldn't move past the lump in his throat, and he could feel his artfully mussed, finger-in-the-socket hairstyle even starting to wilt, so John took a deep breath and said what was on his mind, "Rod, I'm a fag. Flaming, even. I've never had sex with a woman. Ever. Boobs scare me. And I'm in love with you, please say you love me back, because if you don't, I might die, I want you that much."