Fannish Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

Smart Bitches Trashy Books is having a contest in honor of the 2008 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest Winners. Two years ago, I held a similar contest. I feel like it's time to bring it back—with a vengeance!

Here are the rules:

1. Comment with the worst sentence you can imagine opening a fic. I am opening this up to any and all fandoms this year, with the caveat that, as the initial judge, I may be more partial to fandoms I am familiar with. Note: the sentence should be a sentence. Crazy punctuation is fine and even encouraged, but opening paragraphs will not be counted. ETA: You're welcome to make as many entries as you like. I'd recommend one per comment for clarity, but I'm not gonna be a stickler on that.

2. On Thursday morning-ish, I will choose my ten favorite entries for everyone to vote on. Feel free to comment on your favorite entries; my opinions on matters unpolitical can often be swayed. ;-)

3. Voting will run through the weekend; on Monday I will announce the winners and possibly some runners-up. There will be prizes! (Most likely a selection of used books on numerous enchanting subjects.)

4. Feel free to link! Let's see if we can make this an omnifannish extravaganza.

And...go!

Comments

Stargate: Atlantis

[zillah975]

As Colonel John Sheppard, military commander of Atlantis and beloved protector of two galaxies, watched the sun rise over the Lantean ocean, the waves glittered like the tears in Rodney McKay's limpid azure eyes the night he left, and the dashing Colonel Sheppard reflected on the events of the past week, finally understanding that the wet, tearing sound he'd thought he heard when Rodney McKay had walked away from him had been the sound of his own heart rending in two, and he resolved that no matter how long it took, or how far he had to travel, he would regain the love of the brilliant scientist and win him back from muscle-bound Satedan warrior who—loving McKay at first sight, as all who saw him did—had, with soft and tender words whose use John Sheppard was too manly to ever master, lured him far away to his fortress of seduction among the Pegasian stars.

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Hee, fortress of seduction! Win!

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[zillah975]

Thank you!! :D

Of course now I've made myself all curious...what exactly is a fortress of seduction like...? *facepalm*

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[telesilla.livejournal.com]

Hon? I will pay to write more of this.

Um...payment in internets and you know, stuff and things.

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[zillah975]

Hee!! *snorgles and loves*

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[wychwood]

*dies of giggles*

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[zillah975]

Icon love! ♥

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[almostnever.livejournal.com]

loving McKay at first sight, as all who saw him did

*rolls!*

Pegasian stars! :D :D

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[zillah975]

*G* Yay!

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[lavvyan.livejournal.com]

That is so awesome! *dies*

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[zillah975]

Thankees! :D

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[roaringmice.livejournal.com]

Wow. That was... Wow.

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[zillah975]

*polishes run-on sentence skills*

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[aecamadi.livejournal.com]

Oh holy night, this was good.

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[zillah975]

Tankyouuu! (Your icon is weirdly mesmerizing... *stares*)

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[darkrosetiger.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

*laughs moar*

*reaches for inhaler, still laughing*

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[zillah975]

Hee! *loves*

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[toft-froggy.livejournal.com]

HIS OWN HEART RENDING IN TWO. I love it. And his fortress of seduction. This is fabulous.

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[zillah975]

HIS HEART RENDED! *pets woobie!John*

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[mirabile-dictu.livejournal.com]

I agree with everyone who mentioned "fortress of seduction among the Pegasian stars." BOGGLES MY LITTLE MIND.

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[zillah975]

*g* Now I want to design the damned thing, though. *swats self*

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[capra-maritimus.livejournal.com]

*grin* Oh perfect. :D

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[zillah975]

Eeeeeeeeeee I love your icon! *smoochies it back*

Re: Stargate: Atlantis

[shalom]

"fortress of seduction" made me snort with laughter until I woke the cat.

Congratulations!

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

You're the winner of the Second Not-Quite-Annual Fannish Bulwer-Lytton Contest! Please proceed to this post (http://trinityofone.livejournal.com/159936.html) to choose your prize!