Fannish Bulwer-Lytton Contest!
Aug. 18th, 2008 06:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trinityofoneSmart Bitches Trashy Books is having a contest in honor of the 2008 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest Winners. Two years ago, I held a similar contest. I feel like it's time to bring it backâwith a vengeance!
Here are the rules:
1. Comment with the worst sentence you can imagine opening a fic. I am opening this up to any and all fandoms this year, with the caveat that, as the initial judge, I may be more partial to fandoms I am familiar with. Note: the sentence should be a sentence. Crazy punctuation is fine and even encouraged, but opening paragraphs will not be counted. ETA: You're welcome to make as many entries as you like. I'd recommend one per comment for clarity, but I'm not gonna be a stickler on that.
2. On Thursday morning-ish, I will choose my ten favorite entries for everyone to vote on. Feel free to comment on your favorite entries; my opinions on matters unpolitical can often be swayed. ;-)
3. Voting will run through the weekend; on Monday I will announce the winners and possibly some runners-up. There will be prizes! (Most likely a selection of used books on numerous enchanting subjects.)
4. Feel free to link! Let's see if we can make this an omnifannish extravaganza.
And...go!
Here are the rules:
1. Comment with the worst sentence you can imagine opening a fic. I am opening this up to any and all fandoms this year, with the caveat that, as the initial judge, I may be more partial to fandoms I am familiar with. Note: the sentence should be a sentence. Crazy punctuation is fine and even encouraged, but opening paragraphs will not be counted. ETA: You're welcome to make as many entries as you like. I'd recommend one per comment for clarity, but I'm not gonna be a stickler on that.
2. On Thursday morning-ish, I will choose my ten favorite entries for everyone to vote on. Feel free to comment on your favorite entries; my opinions on matters unpolitical can often be swayed. ;-)
3. Voting will run through the weekend; on Monday I will announce the winners and possibly some runners-up. There will be prizes! (Most likely a selection of used books on numerous enchanting subjects.)
4. Feel free to link! Let's see if we can make this an omnifannish extravaganza.
And...go!
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-20 04:34 am (UTC)-----
"I'm a Republican!" said Lorne, and immediately everyone lost their erections.
"Can I just say once more," Rodney said as he put down the dildo, "that that has to be the weirdest safeword ever?"
"It's certainly effective," John said from the other side of Lorne.
"Will you two just shut up and untie me," Lorne snapped. "Jesus fucking Christ. I don't know why I agreed to this in the first place."
"You said it would be hot," John reminded him, even as he and Rodney started to undo the knots tying Lorne to the bed.
The instant he was free Lorne sat up and glared at them. "That was before I knew you two would spend so much time bickering about whether a purple dildo was gay instead of using the stupid thing. Now I want you two to shut the fuck up and blow me, before I kick your asses."
"...yes, sir," they said.