Fannish Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

Smart Bitches Trashy Books is having a contest in honor of the 2008 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest Winners. Two years ago, I held a similar contest. I feel like it's time to bring it back—with a vengeance!

Here are the rules:

1. Comment with the worst sentence you can imagine opening a fic. I am opening this up to any and all fandoms this year, with the caveat that, as the initial judge, I may be more partial to fandoms I am familiar with. Note: the sentence should be a sentence. Crazy punctuation is fine and even encouraged, but opening paragraphs will not be counted. ETA: You're welcome to make as many entries as you like. I'd recommend one per comment for clarity, but I'm not gonna be a stickler on that.

2. On Thursday morning-ish, I will choose my ten favorite entries for everyone to vote on. Feel free to comment on your favorite entries; my opinions on matters unpolitical can often be swayed. ;-)

3. Voting will run through the weekend; on Monday I will announce the winners and possibly some runners-up. There will be prizes! (Most likely a selection of used books on numerous enchanting subjects.)

4. Feel free to link! Let's see if we can make this an omnifannish extravaganza.

And...go!

Comments

Discworld .........(don't hurt me.)

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

The thing that no one knew about the ex-Captain Commander Vimes--obviously becuase he never told anybody--was that his gruff exterier was a fasad, since ever since Carrot had stridden into his life like an inspiration beacon that glows with awe and mystery, Vimes has been a changed man infatuaded.

Re: Discworld .........(don't hurt me.)

[toft-froggy.livejournal.com]

I LOVE THIS.

Re: Discworld .........(don't hurt me.)

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

I feel so guilty! I want to pick up Night Watch, clutch it to my chest, read five times over and say "I'm sorry! Forgive me! I'll never use 'since' twice in a sentence again!"

Re: Discworld .........(don't hurt me.)

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

YOU SHOULD. YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO THE WHOLE WORLD FOR THIS.

I feel like I've been sucker-punched. I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.

*weeps in corner*

Re: Discworld .........(don't hurt me.)

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

WILL YOU STILL LOVE VIMES ME TOMORROW?

Re: Discworld .........(don't hurt me.)

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

...MAYBE.

You win first prize in my book, either way.