Fannish Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

Smart Bitches Trashy Books is having a contest in honor of the 2008 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest Winners. Two years ago, I held a similar contest. I feel like it's time to bring it back—with a vengeance!

Here are the rules:

1. Comment with the worst sentence you can imagine opening a fic. I am opening this up to any and all fandoms this year, with the caveat that, as the initial judge, I may be more partial to fandoms I am familiar with. Note: the sentence should be a sentence. Crazy punctuation is fine and even encouraged, but opening paragraphs will not be counted. ETA: You're welcome to make as many entries as you like. I'd recommend one per comment for clarity, but I'm not gonna be a stickler on that.

2. On Thursday morning-ish, I will choose my ten favorite entries for everyone to vote on. Feel free to comment on your favorite entries; my opinions on matters unpolitical can often be swayed. ;-)

3. Voting will run through the weekend; on Monday I will announce the winners and possibly some runners-up. There will be prizes! (Most likely a selection of used books on numerous enchanting subjects.)

4. Feel free to link! Let's see if we can make this an omnifannish extravaganza.

And...go!

Comments

Dedicated to Cassie Edwards

[siria]

Though He Who Flies Recklessly—or John Sheppard, as he had been known before he had been adopted by a passing tribe of Indians, whose primitive yet noble generosity had surely saved him from a lonely army deserter's death—knew that the sacrifice to the great lord App-Roh-Pree-Ayshoon (for such, he thought, was the name of his adopted people's god) would have to proceed if they were to have any hope of escaping from the pirates who were chasing them across the plains like a horde of ravening bison, something within him stirred at the thought of no longer sharing his teepee with the new-found slant-mouthed astrophysicist, and the eagle feathers stuck in his rakish hair quivered with emotion.

Re: Dedicated to Cassie Edwards

[roaringmice.livejournal.com]

Gaaagh. Aargh. Wow. Horrible. Well done!

Re: Dedicated to Cassie Edwards

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

The quivering feathers are brilliant.

But where are the ferrets?

Re: Dedicated to Cassie Edwards

[siria]

Down his pants, of course.