To those of you who are awake:

I am currently responding to fic comments like a good (repentant) LJer, but I need something to distract me every once in a while or my brain will atrophy. So here's a little participatory meme-thingy (snagged from boysnoggage):

1. Post a list of up to 20 books/movies/anime/TV shows/video games/etc. that you've had an obsessive fannish love of at some time in your life.
2. Have your friends list guess your favourite character from each item.

1. Stargate: Atlantis - Rodney McKay (wychwood)
2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Spike (ilgattopardo)
3. Angel the Series - Wesley Wyndam-Pryce (wychwood)
4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Ford Prefect (wychwood)
5. The Chronicles of Narnia - Edmund Pevensie (soupytwist)
6. The X-Files - Fox Mulder (wychwood)
7. Star Wars - Han Solo (ilgattopardo)
8. Good Omens - Crowley (wychwood)
9. Neverwhere - Richard Mayhew (wychwood)
10. The Aubrey/Maturin Books - Stephen Maturin (wychwood)
11. His Dark Materials - Will Parry (wychwood)
12. Preacher - Cassidy (smittywing)
13. Sandman - Hob Gadling (20thcenturyvole)
14. Red Dwarf - Arnold Rimmer (20thcenturyvole)
15. The Dark Tower - Eddie Dean (soupytwist)
16. Queer as Folk (US) - Brian Kinney (godofwine)
17. Calvin and Hobbes - Hobbes (wychwood)
18. Veronica Mars - Logan Echolls (wychwood)
19. X-Men - Wolverine (ilgattopardo)
20. The Legendary Lymond Chronicles - Francis Crawford of Lymond (siegeofangels)

ETA: Oh, God. I just realized something terrible about the answers to this meme. Let me know if you catch it, too. *is a horrible person*
ETA2: jarsy got it: They're all men. That...says some interesting things, doesn't it? *hangs head in SHAME*
ETA3: Done! Good work, people! I may be a misogynist bastard, but at least I have smart friends! *vbeg*

Or! Tell me stuff! Ask me questions! Entertaaaaaaaain me!

[/patheticness] <--Oh, who am I kidding? Like that ever really ends.

Beating a Dead Horse, or: How Not to Write

Sullivan: I want this picture to be a...document. I want to hold a mirror up to life. I want this to be a picture of dignity...a true canvas of the suffering of humanity.
LeBrand: But with a little sex in it.
Sullivan: But with a little sex in it.

So there's been a general sort of "WTF?" reaction to the story I posted yesterday, Horses Over the Hill. And I would just like to take this time to officially say: I completely understand. And also, mea culpa? Because it was a muddled mess, and dude, I feel stupid now. 'Cause it didn't have to be that way.

Several people have asked to see the original version of the story, the one that I threw out at the last minute yet can't seem to stop talking about. ;-) The truth is, the bulk of that version is the same as the one I posted; the only major differences are that the beginning omits the few lines about the Wraith and General Landry (there's never any mention of a possible promotion), and the ending. The ending is very different. So, in the interests of fair comparison and, er, beating a dead horse, I'm going to post the original conclusion here.

( Horses Over the Hill: Alternate Ending )

Looking at that now, I don't think it's really that bad. I mean, it's melodramatic and I still don't really believe it--it's too easy--but mostly, if I slowed it down a bit, made it less rushed? It wouldn't be that awful. (Okay, it still wouldn't explain certain things like why Rodney could see the ghost, but let's just leave that for now, shall we? Please?)

I don't know if I made the right decision yesterday. Probably it would have been better if I had spent the morning making what I had better, rather than trying to completely re-do it. But there are three things that I find really interesting about this whole experience, and they're really the reason I'm still talking about this. (Well, that and the fact that I'm embarrassed about having posted a subpar story, and I'm trying to distract you. Is it working?)

1. That I didn't really change very much, yet what I did change managed to alter the entire mood, and indeed, meaning of the story. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the emotional difference between ending one and ending two is pretty extreme, right? And yet the middle sections are honestly exactly the same. I'm not saying that either version of the story is good, but I do think it's kind of cool how changing one thing can make you read a whole bunch of other things in completely different ways. Something to think about for the future.

2. There's a difference between what is a satisfying story for a writer and a satisfying story for a reader. Or there can be. I would say that ideally, there isn't. But I am beginning to think--and again, please correct me if I'm wrong--that the first version of the story would have been a lot more satisfying for a lot of readers. It's less confusing, for one thing. (I honestly didn't mean for the ending of the version I posted to be that ambiguous; for those who are still wondering: John resigns! He chooses Rodney! Um, yay?) The original version is also more up. Sometimes that's important. I'm starting to get the feeling that I should have written Hey Hey in the Hayloft, and instead I wrote O Brother, Where Art Thou? Hey, we all gotta learn that lesson some time--at least I didn't have to get thrown in jail.

3. Hard work does not always pay off. In general, this is not a good lesson to learn, but for a writer, maybe it is. I puttered away at "Horses" for weeks, and it was never--forgive the pun--smooth riding. I think that shows in the final result. On the other hand, I wrote "We Have Lingered" in less than two hours. It literally poured out of me, and it was a joy to write from start to finish. I think that shows in the final result, too. This is not to say that I, or any writer, should never work at anything, poking it and prodding it and keeping it going, because if that were true, then nobody would ever write anything of length. (Although in fairness, I think I should at this point admit that I wrote both "Dæmonology" and "Something Wicked" in a day [um, not the same day]. Sometimes it just flows, man. I live for days like that.) But sometimes when something's not working, there's a reason, and I need to learn to recognize that.

I'd love to hear what people think about any or all of this. I feel a little better having talked about it, although I still have some major guilt for having posted something that I wasn't fully proud of, especially because it was for a challenge. (I also do appreciate the people who said nice things about the story. You are very nice, and you kept me from death-by-too-much-*headdesk*) So in the interest of giving back to a fandom that's been really good to me, I'm going to totally rip-off eliade and propose that I write ficlets for the first ten people (nine, if svmadelyn wants one--she deserves a boon) who comment with scenarios/prompts/what have you. My only restrictions are: SGA, John or Rodney or some combination thereof. Oh, and no horses.

Sullivan: There's a lot to be said for making people laugh. Did you know that that's all some people have? It isn't much, but it's better than nothing in this cockeyed caravan.

Ficlet for godofwine: Pony Up

godofwine, this is what happens when you are a smartass! *vbeg*

( John buys Rodney a pony )

ETA: Illustration by dar_jeeling!

( Hi-ho! )

Most likely, I will not be able to write all of these this fast. As you can see, that's a good thing.