Ficlet for godofwine: Pony Up

[trinityofone]

godofwine, this is what happens when you are a smartass! *vbeg*

Pony Up

“You do realize that I’m not a nine-year-old girl, right?”

John appeared to think about this. “Yes,” he decided.

“You do realize that, considering the aforementioned fact that I am not a prepubescent female, but rather a mature, dignified, and supremely intelligent man, who, may I remind you, specifically asked for a FrogPad? Or one of those Swiss Army Knives with a built-in USB? Anyway, with all that in mind, what could possibly have made you think what I really wanted for my birthday was...”

Rodney trailed off, the word sticking in his throat. He gestured helplessly in the direction of the disputed gift. John nodded patiently, letting him take his time.

Finally, the necessary syllables squeaked out. “A pony?”

John grinned. “Everybody wants a pony.”

“I DON’T!” Rodney declared. Elsewhere on Atlantis, one of the seismologists picked up some interesting readings.

“How can you not want Rainbowberry?” John asked, scratching the pony’s chin.

“What? ‘Rainbowberry'?”

“That’s the pony’s name.”

“My pony is not named Rainbowberry!” Rodney was quite emphatic on this point.

“You can’t change her name now,” John explained patiently, “that’ll just confuse her.”

“I don’t care! What am I supposed to do when I need her to come, huh? Shout, ‘Hi-ho Rainbowberry’?”

John shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”

“Because...” Rodney looked around furtively. “Because it’s kind of gay,” he whispered.

John chuckled. “Having a pony named Rainbowberry doesn’t make you gay, Rodney.”

“No!” Rodney shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. “Sleeping with you makes me gay! Having a pony named Rainbowberry would make me retarded!”

John scratched his own chin, much as he had scratched Rainbowberry’s. “So...you don’t want the pony, then?”

“No! No, I don’t want the pony! I want...I want to go see what Radek got me, and when I get back, I want you to have come up with a proper present!” John opened his mouth. “And don’t say ‘a birthday blow job’!” Rodney hissed, shaking his finger at him. “I was going to get that anyway, so no cheating!” He slammed out of the room, a cry of, “I got you a skateboard!” echoing in his wake.

“So,” said Rainbowberry, after a moment. “When are you going to tell him that I’m a talking, Ancient pony?”

“Oh, just as soon as not telling him stops being funny,” John said cheerfully.

“So in other words, never,” Rainbowberry said, flicking the shimmering strands of her pink and purple mane, sending a cloud of sparkles into the air.

“Yep,” said John, and as the sprinking of glitter coated his eyelashes, proceeded to laugh himself hoarse.

*************

1. Um, I maintain full deniability regarding any and all puns.
2. There really is a My Little Pony called Rainbowberry. Hasbro, you sick bastards!

ETA: Illustration by dar_jeeling!



*dies* dar_jeeling = the god of men and ponies!

Most likely, I will not be able to write all of these this fast. As you can see, that's a good thing.

Comments

[some-stars.livejournal.com]

*SHRIEK*

RAINBOWBERRY. TALKING ANCIENT PONY.

Oh god, can I eat your brain and absorb your powers? Just a little bit?

[airinshaw.livejournal.com]

I think a little bit of me just died inside.

*checks*

Yes - you killed a part of me. See? Who said laughing yourself stupid was good for you? I'm sure the other parts of me that need the now-dead bit will disagree.

‘Hi-ho Rainbowberry’?”

Now that made into an icon would definately take over the world!

[coreopsis.livejournal.com]

“When are you going to tell him that I’m a talking, Ancient pony?”

“Oh, just as soon as not telling him stops being funny,”
ahahahahahahahahahaha You know, your brand of genius is sort of frightening. But I like it. I like it A LOT.

[dar-jeeling.livejournal.com]

Omg. I'm laughing myself sick. godofwine deserves some kind of award for not making that request. <3!

[dar-jeeling.livejournal.com]

Take this (http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b108/dar_jeeling/sketchdump/drShHiho.png) as a token of my love for you. ;)

[20thcenturyvole.livejournal.com]

Ow. Ow. I think I just broke something. Ow.

“So,” said Rainbowberry, after a moment. “When are you going to tell him that I’m a talking, Ancient pony?”

*flails*

[siria]

You? Are about forty-seven different kinds of awesome.

[violin-road.livejournal.com]

... *dies quietly in the corner*

[wychwood]

Or one of those Swiss Army Knives with a built-in USB?

That was the line that cracked me up. Maybe case I'm a guy, and maybe because I spent a few minutes trying to figure out exactly how that would work.

...but they're real!

PONY

[astolat]

adfasdfas;jafdskj;af

Re: PONY

[svmadelyn.livejournal.com]

*dittos solemnly*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

I thought you were kidding about actually delivering ponies. And then you end it with "hoarse" *snortles* Aaaaah, I never wanted a pony but if John gave me one, I'd at least check the gift-horse's mouth. Genius, yeah right ;P

Bwah!!!!

[logovo.livejournal.com]

See, stuff like this never happens in my other fandoms.


“So,” said Rainbowberry, after a moment. “When are you going to tell him that I’m a talking, Ancient pony?”

“Oh, just as soon as not telling him stops being funny,” John said cheerfully.

LOL!!!

[jo-zed-pee-em.livejournal.com]

Rainbowberry!!! GAH *dies from laughter overdose* This is just what I needed to cheer me up! ;o)

[lyndasty.livejournal.com]

Oh.My.God...that was hysterial!!!

Laughed himself hoarse...talking pony...hehehe...

[moonlettuce.livejournal.com]

Can't. Stop. Giggling.

A request

[saffronjan.livejournal.com]

In future, please create an lj-cut with the warning "take all necessary bladder control precautions before clicking here" before any line like "Hi-ho, Rainbowberry." It will be for the good of all of us.

Can I make a comment-fic request?

Rodney is very ticklish.

[bluebrocade.livejournal.com]

the shimmering strands of her pink and purple mane

Pretty!

proceeded to laugh himself hoarse

OMG, that's so wrong.

[pollitt.livejournal.com]

LOL! Oh god...I think I may've *owned* Rainbowberry in my childhood.

...

And then traded all of my My Little Ponys to my cousin for his collection of Transformers. It was a fair trade :)

[amnellwyvern.livejournal.com]

OMFG! *dies in a fit of giggles*

[oxoniensis.livejournal.com]

Well, that's all coherence knocked out of me for the evening!

“So,” said Rainbowberry, after a moment. “When are you going to tell him that I’m a talking, Ancient pony?”

*dies*

[merelyn.livejournal.com]

Hee!

[krabbypatty.livejournal.com]

*snort* haha, awesome. and how much do i love this image?
“Yep,” said John, and as the sprinking of glitter coated his eyelashes, proceeded to laugh himself hoarse.
So much! Glitter and eyelashes!

[walkingshadow.livejournal.com]

*DIES LAUGHING*

the absolute best way to go!

[skoosiepants.livejournal.com]

*giggles* talking ancient pony... hilarious :)

[godofwine.livejournal.com]

I am hearting my brain like crazy because LOOK WHAT I PROVOKED INSPIRED. [/taking credit like Rodney McKay]

Woah, I think my parents my think I am crazy like Ford's croonies because I have been laughing so much! This is pure comic gold. And look! Rainbowberry! Talking Ancient Ponies! Rodney as a nine year -old girl! OMG YOU HAVE KILLED ME DIED!

(If this is what happens when you are being a smartass then no wonder snark is god.)

[stillane.livejournal.com]

I've been rolling on the floor giggling for the last ten minutes. My downstairs neighbors propably think I'm having spasms. This is all your fault. Thank you.