SGA Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

Comments

[bruinsfan.livejournal.com]

Bravo! This would have been even more traumatic for me to read if I didn't already have the mental image of Laura Cadman's horrified expression upon seeing Carson's quarters for the first time, complete with its candlelit shrine to the giant painting of Mrs. Beckett that hangs over the headboard of his bed. You just know that was his one personal item on the original mission.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

I always picture Carson's closet to be kind of like Steve Martin-the-dentist's in Little Shop of Horrors. "Oh, momma!"