SGA Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

cincodemaygirl pointed out that the winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. This is the contest where people try to create the worst opening sentence of a novel EVER. Glancing over the winners, I remembered that ages back someone had done a BtVS version of the contest. (My favorite entry was, and still is, "I'm back!" Riley said.) And I thought: Dude, we need to have the SGA version of this, like, yesterday.

So! Comment here with the worst possible sentence you can imagine opening an SGA fic. On Friday morning, I'll pick a winner and maybe a few runners-up and there will be prizes of some kind. (Maybe fic, maybe something else.) Hopefully, if enough people play, this will be entertaining enough to get us through to the premiere.

I may also compose a few bad sentences myself, although obviously, I am not qualified to win my own contest. *g* Oh, and please feel free to pimp this!

Okay...go!

ETA: In response to a question: Yes, you can enter as many times as you want. *eg*

Comments

[lizamanynames.livejournal.com]

Apologies for the spam, inspiration struck.

It has been the best sex of his life, John couldn't deny that, even if at first the idea had seemed preposterous, horrifying, and more than a little nausiating - but in the end, it had been such a transcendant experience, he didn't need to know where Rodney had gotten the red inflatable Dalek; besides, he was still afraid to ask.

And yay for crack-fed crossovers:

"What's really bothering me," Rodney said, sucking his teeth in the vain hopes to get those last few molecules of the last of the coffee from them, "is not that Col. Mitchel is here, out of uniform, and apparently with a total case of amnesia, but that he a) is accomponied by a small, totally unknown but thoroughly repulsive alien lifeform, and b) seems to be using words nobody, even me has ever heard of before - I mean, seriously, what the hell is a frell?"

And short and sweet:

Ronon calmly licked the whip cream from his own ass and playfully flicked his fingers at Carson.

[lizamanynames.livejournal.com]

*GRINS*

[ceitie.livejournal.com]

And yet, Ronon by force of his sheer hotness may be capable of many things that are beyond the ken of us mere mortals. Also, the first one? Frelling hilarious. *g*

[lizamanynames.livejournal.com]

And yet, Ronon by force of his sheer hotness may be capable of many things that are beyond the ken of us mere mortals.

That's the theory I was going with, anyway.

Also, the first one? Frelling hilarious. *g*

You mean the second one, surely? (Though I personally think the inflatable Dalek thing was clever.)

[(Anonymous)]

Yep, I meant the second one, my bad. (The Dalek thing was both very geekily cool and somewhat disturbing.)

[ceitie.livejournal.com]

That was me!

[lizamanynames.livejournal.com]

I figures. As to freaky and disturbing - rather the point, really. :) So thanks. :D

[basingstoke.livejournal.com]

Ronon licking his own ass has me cocking my head to one side in confusion like the cat in that hammer video.

[lizamanynames.livejournal.com]

See, that's what makes it bad sentence. :)